And the number one Test side is…

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< 1 minute read

Two frigging Tests. Whose bright idea was it to have a two-Test series between India and South Africa?

Don’t tell us that originally there were no Tests scheduled. If you fancy a sandwich and there’s no bread in the house, you don’t go out and buy a single slice of granary. No-one in their right mind would sell it to you for a start. You know why? Because selling things in stupidly small quantities is demented.

Two slices is the bare minimum for a sandwich. Three matches is the absolute bare minimum for a Test series. If you want a top sandwich, get a good, crusty roll. If you want a top Test series, play five matches.

So now we have the situation where two fine Test sides will battle it out to see who’s best at one-day cricket. It’s like Ali and Frazier playing Ludo for the world heavyweight title or Bjorn Borg playing John McEnroe at shove ha’penny to win Wimbledon.

We’re pissed off.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. good anger levels, KC.

    more of this type of thing please.

    by the way, you neglected to mention what you’re having in said sandwich.

    personally it’s a good old fashioned cheese and lettuce, perhaps with some sweet pickle if i’m feeling particularly saucy.

  2. I have to agree with this. It’s such a shame the BCCI are more focused on the lesser form of the game that India are now shit at. This could have been an epic series.

  3. Ravi: It was SA cricket board that cut short the India tour citing the hectic domestic schedule. We all like dumping on BCCI and IPL, but in this instance they are not at fault.

  4. I missed this series, but watched Paul Harris bowl an over at Virender Sehwag before I went to work. It was so wretched, I put my foot through the telly and sent the ICC the bill

  5. I would very much like to see Bjorn Borg playing John McEnroe at shove ha’penny, KC.

    Thank you very much.

    When’s it on?

  6. The test match news was all over the front of the indian papers yesterday, and while there isn’t exactly dancing in the streets, India winning and being #1 test nation is on many people’s lips, which has to be a good thing.

    To counter that, though, today’s Deccan Chronicle contains a full length interview with Ashok Joshi and Taposh Chatterjee. What do you mean you’ve never heard of them? They are the “curators” at the Jaipur ground where the first ODI is to be played. According to the paper, they have made “a batting beauty for the opener, which will set the tone for the three-match series.”

    They went on to reveal the shocking news that “we have kept grass on the wicket and underneath too, which will help in binding the soil.” More bizarre revelations were to come. “We have watered it adequately and we are rolling it to help it dry.” Unbelievable stuff!

    The paper also contains the following headline (no article) – “Strauss avoids media glare on a holiday with wife in Oz, says a report.” Obviously with news of this magnitude you need the caveat “says a report”. You wouldn’t want to be sued if, for example, Strauss was not completely avoiding the media glare on his holiday with his wife in Oz.

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