You’re in the wrong place

Because honestly, what’s the point updating this website on a day when someone else has published a Rob Key interview?

It reminds us why we like him.

What is the best thing about playing cricket at Canterbury?
There’s a Sainsbury’s at the ground.

Ever since 2008, we’ve had a draft post saved on this site with the title ‘Rob Key interview’. The intention was to painstakingly compile the questions that would comprise the perfect interview should the opportunity ever arise.

We haven’t looked at it in years, but we just opened it now and it contained precisely one question…

“If you were a member of late-Nineties wrestling team, Too Cool, who would you be? Scotty Too Hotty or Grandmaster Sexay?”

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11 Appeals

  1. good badger today o king. that last collingwood quote is a belter – never mind x-factor watch, that one is crunchwatch</a B-)

  2. Our Bobby batted 26 times in tests for England. Here is his test career summarised in bilabial clicks:

    ʘʘ
    ʘʘʘ
    ʘʘʘ


    ʘʘʘʘʘ
    ʘʘ

    ʘʘʘʘʘ

    ʘ
    ʘʘ

    ʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘ
    ʘʘ
    ʘʘʘ

    ʘ
    ʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘ
    ʘ

    ʘʘʘʘ
    ʘʘʘʘʘʘʘʘ
    ʘʘ

    ʘ

    Bilabial clicks are, as the name suggests, made by smacking your lips together. Hence they are rather like a kiss. Summarising a test career by reading it out loud is therefore likely to be unique in making the subject feel proud, slightly disappointed and deeply disturbed all in one moment.

    • Bert, I think you’ve sold him short by one bilabial click on his highest test score there, assuming, in your system, which I eventually cracked, that one bilabial click equals ten runs, or thereabouts. Which seems reasonable to me.

    • You’re right, he’s been badly done to. Perhaps someone here can rectify that by presenting the missing bilabial click to him in person.

  3. What do you order at Nandos?
    It’s quite expensive now. I’ve spent ages trying to get the black card. For years I had chicken with no chips but now I’d probably have chips and less chicken.

    What a man

  4. “Don’t eat biscuits” Didn’t he pinch that from Lord Chesterfield?

  5. The greatest post of all time is five years old next month

    • Things have never been the same since that day.

    • The best part about that is that having followed the link, merely to remind myself of the sheer grandeur of the greatest post of all time, and then to have followed a link from that post to it’s inspiration, and thereon back to King Cricket… I was then greeted by the advert “Want a REAL girlfriend?”.

      As if suggesting somehow that people who read multiple five year old webposts about Rob Key are somehow likely to be without genuine love in their lives! Pfft. And pfft again.

    • Your complaining? I did the same thing with the links and at the end of it was offered a walk-in shower for the disabled, alphamonkey.

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