A worrying Rob Key development

Thanks to Bradders for pointing us towards this:

Don't point that thing at us

But also not thanks. Pretending things are guns is never cool. Somebody will have told him to do it, but that doesn’t matter. Rob could have gone for bat-as-guitar or bat-as-snooker-cue even. Both would have been better than bat-as-gun.

There’s the sunglasses too. It’s all bad. We feel very disappointed today and we don’t quite know where we go from here.

We’re also wondering whether to move the ‘Rob Key’ child category out of the ‘England’ parent category and back into the ‘county cricket’ one. This really is a low moment.

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20 Appeals

  1. But surely this is Startrek Captain Key with his phaser set to stun, wearing a prototype of Geordi La Forge’s VISOR and protecting his gallant but hopelessly outclassed USS Kent from an imminent attack by the evil Cardassians of Hants?

  2. There there, KC, never mind. Besides, maybe it’s not as bad as it looks. Maybe he isn’t pretending his cricket bat is a gun. Maybe he’s just saying to the bowler, “I don’t need a full bat to dispatch you to the boundary, sunshine, just this tiny little bit of it.” And maybe the sunglasses are just there to make it even more difficult, so as to further demonstrate his superiority. And maybe he’s also saying to the world, “I am the only man in the world who can score first class centuries with the bat handle while wearing shades after a terrible accident with an entire tub of hair gel.”

  3. King Cricket

    July 1, 2010 at 8:49 am

    That’s what we need you people for: clutchable straws.

  4. Have they photoshopped some of the weight off his forearms?

  5. King Cricket

    July 1, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    No-one wants to be seen to have obese forearms.

  6. bat guitaring is cool

  7. Told you he was a goon.


  9. King Cricket

    July 1, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    He played last year.

    But we’ll take that as one vote for ‘county cricket parent category’.

  10. Why is it called Jonesy’s Kitchen? It sounds awkward and Key’s Kitchen is so much better, loads of pies. Yumm

  11. King Cricket

    July 2, 2010 at 8:56 am

    Geraint Jones provides sausages from his smallholding.

    No, it’s not a euphemism.

  12. It wasn’t, but it is now.

  13. Have several female Kent fan friends who swear that a Geraint sausage slips down v nicely at the weekend. Sure SarahCanterbury would confirm this is so

  14. King Cricket

    July 2, 2010 at 10:45 am

    We’ve brought this on ourself.

  15. I have indeed partaken on a number of occasions (and not just at weekends) of a Geraint Jones sausage & can confirm it is most succulent, meaty & extremely tasty. I was more than satisfied afterwards. His bacon is worth a nibble too if you are ever in the vicinity.

  16. What about his cock?


  17. It produces well, certainly. Marvellous eggs.

  18. King Cricket

    July 2, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    To reiterate, we’ve brought this on ourself.

  19. I checked out his web-site and it says he had several sheep but it doesn’t mention his cock at all.

    I guess you are a city girl, Sarah, if you think a cock produces eggs.

  20. thesausrus.

    I think what Sarah is trying to say is that Geriant’s cock fertilizes eggs well. I’m pretty sure that’s what she meant anyway.

    KC. You brought this on yourself.

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