Australia’s fit bowlers are injured

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Mitchell Starc’s been sent for an operation. Apparently, he’s been suffering with bone spurs for months. It’s very hard to keep track of injuries to Australian bowlers, but we think that he joins Pat Cummins and Jackson Bird on the sidelines. We presume Ryan Harris is injured as well, although he’s been in the grey land between injury and retirement for so long, he’s presumably built a house there.

As ever, the team’s injured bowling attack is probably better than the Test attack, although at least James Pattinson’s been allowed to play again. Plus Peter Siddle’s in form. Siddle strikes you as being a man who’s heard of being injured, but who doesn’t really believe in the concept.

The sheer inevitability of Australian fast bowling injuries is highlighted best by the case of Shane Watson. Half batsman, half bowler, half tearful bovine – this man-and-a-half is apparently fit to bat, but not to bowl.

This really does beg the question as to why the state of Australia’s spin bowling is so dire. Surely all the youngsters are turning to tweak in a bid for self-preservation.


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  1. Spin bowlers get injured too, you know. Hurt my shoulder in the nets last year. Non-spinning off-spinners, since you didn’t ask.

    1. I was a leggie in my youth. But when I went back to the game after a break of about ten years I found I couldn’t control them.

    2. Hasn’t stopped Steve Smith carving a career for himself as an ‘all-rounder’.

      This last match should see him reclassified as a batsman.

    3. Smith re-classified himself as a bastman all this season, actually. Has barely bowled a ball, and when he did he bowled some offies.

      Hence why he was included in the Australia squad as a batsman, and batted at #5.

    4. We used to read a computer game magazine where they used ‘bast’ to mean ‘bastard’.

      Smith’s batting looked nowhere near as shit as it used to in the last Test. In fact, it didn’t actually look shit at all.

    5. I always liked Jason Gallian. Wasn’t he supposed to be the next big thing when we poached him from Australia?

      He made his debut in that marvellous two and a bit day test at Edgbaston. Ah, happy memories.

      He was also another captain who got sick of KP. He was the one who threw his kit bag off the Trent Bridge dressing room balcony, I think.

    6. It was Zero. Do you remember Zero?

      Zero was ace. Zero was probably the best magazine there’s ever been.

  2. Ryan Harris is alive, bowling beautifully and just got his team to the Shield final. The *******.

    It’s only a matter of time though.

  3. Has Peter Siddle returned to eating meat yet? Or is he still demolishing piles of falafels and exterminating dishes of puy lentils?

    We should be told.

  4. It is impossible to hate Peter Siddle. That is not a problem I associated with Australian fast bowlers before.

    1. Hate doesn’t come into it Ritesh – we should simply be told whether or not he is getting appropriate nutrients – Siddle’s chosen diet does not sit easily with the Nandos demolition culture.

    2. Siddle was still vegetarian at the start of the year. Can’t imagine that would change in India – the one place on earth where it’s pretty easy to marry vegetarianism and enjoyment of food.

    3. I’ve been a vegetarian all my life. I’ll have you basts know that apart from occasional asthma attacks and a couple bouts of TB and that one nasty outbreak of jaundice, I’ve been fit as a fiddle.

      What’s that computer game anyway?

    4. Vegetarian-ism is a reason frequently assigned to India’s lack of fast bowling talent. When I was a boy it was accepted as *the* reason Pakistan produced great fast bowlers and India produced Chetan Sharma (same genetic stock, vastly different outcomes). According to legend Javagal Srinath started eating meat in order to bowl faster, but apparently it doesn’t work if you start too late in life.

      If the theory is true Siddle should soon turn into a 125 kph line and length bowler who picks up 1.5 wickets per innings on average. Which will be sad for all, especially because it will make Mitch look good by comparison.

    5. A rich seam, Ritesh and I have developed here.

      Meanwhile, Daisy and I (from our base in London’s Japanese Village) have carpet-bombed a heap of sashimi this evening.

      Fish is much underrated for fast-bowling build-up purposes. I’m planning on bowling at 145 kph tomorrow. Don’t try to stop me.

  5. There are unconfirmed reports that the OZ Govt have offered Kallis immediate citizenship if he agrees to become the Australian cricket team.

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