Why are we goading Tlaloc?

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You see what happens? You see what happens? This is what happens. This is what happens when you goad Tlaloc, the Aztec rain god who loves Test cricket.

Tlaloc has really been looking forward to the series between New Zealand and England, but then he found out about the schedule and flipped out.

“Four days between Tests?” said Tlaloc. “We’ll see about that.”

He’d been planning on holding out just a few more days before ending the drought that has bedevilled North Island but when he found out that the gap between the second and third Tests was again just four days, the same as between the first and second Tests, he moved things forwards.

Tlaloc likes to have time to dissect one Test match and then some more time to anticipate the next.


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  1. I note that Tlaloc tends to favour child sacrifices – not an easily-explained preference in these politically correct times of ours – and I hope someone is keeping a watchful eye on Joe Root with Tlaloc apparently on the rampage.

    As well-known visitors to Mayan sites, Daisy and I favour Chaac in the lexicon of rain gods and we sometimes try appealing to his better nature.

    It is good pun territory to appeal to Chaac, either a request for it to “Chaac it down” (when England are losing – e.g. the 1990s) or for it not to do so (e.g. the last forty-eight hours).

    Further, depictions of Chaac’s lightening axe can look uncannily like a cricket bat (perhaps of the Mongoose variety) in an unusual place:


    1. What does his axe lighten?

      I am a fan of Yu Shi, the Chinese “Master of Rain”. Worshippers often greet his untimely intervention in England v NZ test matches with cries of “You shi[thead!]”, which he cuts off at the critical point with a well-aimed thunderbolt.

  2. Was Tlaloc Tony Lock’s brother?

    That’s the best I’ve got I’m afraid. It’s Monday.

    1. He was indeed.

      And Chaac was one of that famous duo…

      …the two Chaacs.

      The coat is on already I’m half way out the door.

    1. Form, it definitely was not. He looked like a cat on a hot tin roof. But it was runs, and Phil Hughes scoring runs is something every England supporter will eagerly welcome.

  3. In other news, Shane Watson’s back. As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

    In other news, Michael Clarke’s back. As in ankylosing spondylitis or something.

    So one match after getting dropped for not doing his homework, Watson might be promoted to head boy.

    Australian cricket is like herpes. The gift that keeps on giving.

    1. If they make Watson captain for the fourth test we should all just pack up and go home, because that will be the end of cricket as we know it.

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