I Don’t Like Cricket, I Hate It is a semi-regular feature where we ask a fella called Prince Prefab about cricket – even though he hates cricket. We are in bold. Prince Prefab is not.
One of the aims of this World Cup, from an England perspective, was to remind people who aren’t cricket fans that cricket exists. You, Prince Prefab, are our barometer of this kind of thing. That’s literally the point of this feature. So… did you notice the cricket? (And we already know that you did because you texted us about the final and you had opinions about different elements of it and everything.)
I did but I honestly didn’t know it was a proper old-fashioned prestige event. I thought it was some new modern one day thing. I thought old-fashioned cricket had to go on for days otherwise it didn’t count.
Well the tournament started in May, so maybe it earns its credentials that way. When did you notice it?
When England started doing badly. Did we lose twice? I heard a load of grumbling on the radio and realised it was going on.
They lost two on the bounce. Absolute masterstroke. Raise the profile of the game by threatening to dash hopes the same as they’ve always done in the past.
How can you lose two and win the World Cup? Seems shady.
They actually lost three in total. Cricket!
Two questions: (a) Did you learn the names of any cricketers from other countries? (b) Did you learn anything about any of the England players?
(a) Not one. But I remember one was odd and I kept seeing it, so I googled it: Colin de Grandhomme. Pretty good name. And when I saw the other New Zealand names I remembered Guptill. Sounds like the name of a fish.
(b) Not really. I know the fella who bowled the Super Over was young and new. I was worried for him in the first few balls, happy for him by the end.
I know that when they have to really whack it they can do and I’m confused why they don’t do that all the time instead of playing a few tame shots and then getting out.
We like that of all the superstars to have played in the World Cup, the most memorable player for many people will be Colin de Grandhomme.
Final question: What did you tell us about whether you’d watch more cricket after viewing that insanely dramatic final?
I’ve watched one cricket match in my life, it was the best cricket match of all time, what’s the point in watching another one?