Kent v Somerset Pro40 match report

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A match report, again from Lemon Bella who’s swiftly earning the title of ‘roving reporter (who tends to rove to the same destination)’:

I was sat in front of two old ladies who couldn’t read the scoreboard or tell the players apart, so I had to help them fill in their scorecard. This meant I had to watch a distressing amount of the actual cricket.

At one point they told me they thought Marcus Trescothick was a ‘lovely looking young man’. Given that they couldn’t see, I’m not sure that’s the ringing endorsement Marcus would hope. However, I hope that when I’m 76 I can still go to cricket matches and pass comment on the attractiveness of opening batsmen.

A man in front of me ate two tiramisu. I didn’t have any tiramisu. This was very sad for me and I aim to remedy this at the next match.

I rescued a man at the coffee machine who had forgotten to put the cup under the spout. He tried to persuade me that he wasn’t as stupid as he looked. To be honest, I think he probably was. I then spilled coffee on my hat. It wasn’t on my head at the time, which was a blessing I suppose, but it probably means I shouldn’t judge other people’s stupidity.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. It was my Kent Spitfires baseball hat. I’m sorry I always forget that you like this kind of detail.

  2. maybe you should go one better than his tiramisu and take a creme brulee. Surely the king of 80’s desserts.

  3. I’ve never convinced by creme brulee. I expect them to be fantastic and then they’re disappointingly eggy. It’s like when you find hidden fruit at the bottom of chocolate pudding.

  4. Also for the creme brulee to be at its best it would need to be freshly “bruleed” and you may find it difficult to take a blowtorch into the ground as gas canisters are prohibited.

    I can’t believe I just checked the ground regulations for that.

  5. They never check my bags at the St Lawrence, I’m sure I could smuggle it in. I’ll try at the televised game, and you can watch out for me brulee-ing on Sky.

  6. Too often the simple chocolate muffin is sidelined, forgotton amongst more fancy desserts, yet infinitely easier to pack in a lunch box.

  7. Never been a fan. Now, good old fashioned chocolate cake, but you see, people don’t bake cakes anymore.
    I remember a time when post men used to bring you a cup of tea with your post.

  8. I use a gas-powered soldering iron (with the tip removed) for bruléeing purposes. Pocket-sized, so they’d never spot it.

    Does this make me an übergeek, or some kind of culinary genius?

  9. Even if the Kent stewards do spot your soldering iron in your pocket Mahinda, they’ll just think you’re VERY pleased to see Rob Key.

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