A match report, again from Lemon Bella who’s swiftly earning the title of ‘roving reporter (who tends to rove to the same destination)’:
I was sat in front of two old ladies who couldn’t read the scoreboard or tell the players apart, so I had to help them fill in their scorecard. This meant I had to watch a distressing amount of the actual cricket.
At one point they told me they thought Marcus Trescothick was a ‘lovely looking young man’. Given that they couldn’t see, I’m not sure that’s the ringing endorsement Marcus would hope. However, I hope that when I’m 76 I can still go to cricket matches and pass comment on the attractiveness of opening batsmen.
A man in front of me ate two tiramisu. I didn’t have any tiramisu. This was very sad for me and I aim to remedy this at the next match.
I rescued a man at the coffee machine who had forgotten to put the cup under the spout. He tried to persuade me that he wasn’t as stupid as he looked. To be honest, I think he probably was. I then spilled coffee on my hat. It wasn’t on my head at the time, which was a blessing I suppose, but it probably means I shouldn’t judge other people’s stupidity.