Matthew Hoggard hatches fiendish plot to get back into the England team

Posted by
< 1 minute read

He’s going to distract one of the Test team while they’re driving, causing them to have a car accident.

“I need to keep knocking on the door because they’re in the driving seat at the moment.”

We never thought he’d stoop so low.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. It’s Miller’s fault – he’s got them all at it

    “It is about forcing the issue. We are looking to peripheral players not to be just knocking on the door but banging it down,” he said. “We have one or two players who are knocking very hard.”

  2. Bit difficult to knock the door down if you’re carrying a drinks tray, though!

  3. I am intrigued at the thought of a vehicle which has eleven driving seats. Do you think they’ve suctioned those kid’s plastic steering wheels to each of the seats on the team bus?

  4. I think they’re all in the same driving seat, Mel. Times are tough in English cricket – one driving seat between eleven.

Comments are closed.