Matthew Hoggard hatches fiendish plot to get back into the England team

He’s going to distract one of the Test team while they’re driving, causing them to have a car accident.

“I need to keep knocking on the door because they’re in the driving seat at the moment.”

We never thought he’d stoop so low.

Stop, stop. Wait a minute.

Why don't you...

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6 Appeals

  1. It’s Miller’s fault – he’s got them all at it

    “It is about forcing the issue. We are looking to peripheral players not to be just knocking on the door but banging it down,” he said. “We have one or two players who are knocking very hard.”

  2. You could pick up a nasty wrist sprain from knocking too hard.

  3. At least he’ll make a brilliant 12th man. If we need another fine leg.

  4. Bit difficult to knock the door down if you’re carrying a drinks tray, though!

  5. I am intrigued at the thought of a vehicle which has eleven driving seats. Do you think they’ve suctioned those kid’s plastic steering wheels to each of the seats on the team bus?

  6. I think they’re all in the same driving seat, Mel. Times are tough in English cricket – one driving seat between eleven.

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