Rob Key, Bono and ‘dot ball’ signs

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< 1 minute read

This is the best article we’ve ever written in which a girl faints at the thought of seeing Lancashire chief executive, Jim Cumbes.

It is also the best article we’ve written in which Beyoncé tries to associate herself with Rob Key in order to further her career.

Read dreaming in the shires at Cricinfo.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Does the comment ‘Took me a while but now it seems hilarious’ from nzcricket174 sum up your writing career?

    1. “Seems” is a superb word to use. I assume it means “Has all the attributes of but isn’t really…” For what it’s worth, I thought it was hilarious in reality.

  2. At bleeding last, a post about Sir Robert of Key. Your neglecting of the man in favour of world cup and IPL posts of late has been nothing short of blasphemy.

  3. Since all comments to your article had been positive, I took it upon myself to abuse you for writing a silly article, in keeping with the cricinfo tradition. Among other things, I called you an Aussie. I also avoided the use of capital letters.

    You can thank me as soon as cricinfo publishes my comment.

  4. Spectacularly funny, KC.

    But you should have been at Lord’s yesterday. It was a bit like that…

    …but them Lord’s always has been a bit of a parallel universe…

    1. Having been at Lord’s on Friday, I’d say that “Play watchfully!” would be useful advice for certain Essex batsmen.

  5. Good on KC.

    Tell me. Why are Lanky playing their one day games at OT? Is it because Aigburth cannot accomodate the larger crowds, or will they be using the on-site builders in their miners helmits as a back up Village People style dance troupe for the T20 matches if the prety girls get worn out after their 5 second routines every time there’s a T20 maximum?

    Or perhaps Lanky himself is not allowed to travel futher than 2 miles in his costume as per UN Rights of the Animal Charter dictates?

  6. The unintentional irony being that Nando’s Chicken Dippers Rob Key was desperate to play in the IPL and the Bollywood moguls knocked him back not once but twice.

  7. I’ve been trying to work out who should sponsor some of these momentous CC moments.

    I’ve got as far as:

    “That was an excellent British Army leave”
    “What an amazing Kruger Rand dot ball – they are like gold dust at this stage of the innings”
    “Great forward defensive, played Specsavers watchfully there by Mark Chilton”
    “Sensational Cadbury’s Dairy Milk block by Jonny Bairstow; he’s a chip off the old (Cadbury’s Dairy Milk) block, that lad”

  8. ‘Dot Ball’ signs are genuinely a brilliant idea. They should play loud rock music every time there’s a dot ball. And maidens should be celebrated with fireworks.

  9. I’d purchase a ‘Dot Ball’ sign without even a second’s thought. Imagine holding that bad boy up from under your blanket in Chester-Le-Street in mid April, inspiring stuff.

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