Sachin Tendulkar finds something he hasn’t done and does it

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Sachin Tendulkar - deserves better than to have his updates strewn with nadsNamely, score a one-day international hundred in Australia.

Rohit Sharma may have played a major part, but he merely provided able and precocious support to the main man. It might be about the fifth time we’ve written this, but it doesn’t get any less true: Sachin Tendulkar is THE BALLS.

You don’t get any leeway once you’re over 30. If you’re coming back from an injury or in a patch of poor form then you’ve ‘had it’ – your eyes are going, the hunger’s gone, the body’s letting you down.

Clearly absolute testicles. Sachin Tendulkar has averaged 62.73 in 22 Test matches since the start of 2007, hitting four hundreds. In the same period in one-day internationals, he’s averaged 45.60.

He’s played swing in England, bounce in Australia and countered insane expectation against Pakistan. He’s been plodding and cautious. He’s been ferociously dynamic.

If Sachin Tendulkar’s had it, then the moon’s a giant gonad. (Three separate references to testicles – a new career best.)


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Huzzah for Sachin the wonder horse!

    He’s so eminently likeable too.

    His repsonse to Brett Lee beaming him, was to say (i’m paraphrasing here), “no problem, I know he didn’t mean it. Anyway he’ll have my son to answer to, when he comes to India”.

    I think you’ll find that the moon is “an alabaster retard”

  2. His behaviour puts that of some of his team mates and opponents to shame.

    People say things like ‘he let his bat do the talking’ all the time and usually it’s meaningless, but after that Lee beamer, Tendulkar just turned away and kept completely calm.

    He’s a man who KNOWS he’s better than that. His superiority is allied to humility, rather than arrogance.

  3. Guns don’t kill people. Sachin Tendulkar kills People.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Sachin Tendulkar allows to live.

    Sachin Tendulkar does not sleep. He waits

    and so on and so forth til your brain melts with the utter, utter pointlessness of it all.

  4. I think Sachins waiting til his son turns 16 to retire. That way the cricketing world will have an adequate successor ready to step in. He’s just that considerate.

  5. Think Lee and Tendulkar are the only Aus bowler/Indian batsman who could have been involved in that beamer incident without causing an international incident – the only other possible candidate being Dhoni – possibly…

  6. And Robin Uthappa, perhaps. He’s so laid back he might as well bat in sunglasses, shorts and sandles.

    I’m getting a bit disturbed by Brett Lee, though. He’s Australian and I want to hate him, but I just can’t bring myself to.

  7. The Lee thing is quite tragic Dave. Even when he did his Hindi thing I forgave him. When Gilchrist goes he will be the only one in the way of a team of absolute topnotch fatheads.

  8. Damn correct about Lee. Tough to hate him.

    One more thing out of the topic. Did you guys see Harbhajan’s mock-boxing with Yuvi, after getting rid of Hayden.

    Any comment???

  9. Yeh Avik. The only one comment I have is that Bhajji tightened his grip over that ugly fuck Symonds once again real hard. And Symonds felt it real hard. So hard, he couldn’t even open his big mouth he’s so accustomed to putting his foot in all the time.

  10. You might, but the King Cricket Top Ten’s been neglected for some time now.

    Is it worth resurrecting?

  11. That’s for you to decide, isn’t it? 😉

    I rate him above Lara, but then again, that’s just my opinion. Just wanted to know if you feel he deserves a higher place than number four on the list, that’s all.

  12. Well the list was originally only supposed to include players who hadn’t yet retired, so there’s a bit of a clear-out to be had there.

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