The Headingley Test probably didn’t happen

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We sometimes have conversations with friends which go something like this:

Us: I was in the pub the other day and I had a terrible pint. I thought there was something wrong with it so I asked the barman to change it. He tasted it and said it was fine, so I turned to Spider-man and asked him if he would-
Friend: Right, I’ll have to stop you there.
Us: What?
Friend: That was a dream. You can tell because Spider-man was in it and Spider-man’s not real.

We have never once had a dream that didn’t feature Spider-man and each and every time we think we’ve encountered Spider-man, whether he was working on the till at Lidl, cutting us up at a set of lights or asking us if we’re happy with our current energy supplier, it has later transpired that it was a dream.

We definitely saw Spider-man at the Test on Saturday, so it was clearly a dream.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. “We have never once had a dream that didn’t feature Spider-man …….”

    You always dream about blokes in tights then O king?

  2. Bowlers are often blokes in tights. Durhams Thorpy has had a hole in his since the first match of the season.

    Now a hole in tights that does not ladder is just surreal…that or this whole season tis nothing but a dream.

    Does Spider-Man ever ladder his tights?

  3. Surely a carefully-placed blob of nail varnish usually prevents (small) holes from laddering?

  4. Bizarre, isn’t it? I must have been tremendously distracted recently because I’m sure there wasn’t a test match last week and yet reading the news this week seems to suggest that there was one. I can only it somehow passed me by.

    Thinking about it, there can’t have been one though, can there? Surely England are going into the 4th and final test at the Oval next week still 1-0 up, right? I remember being surprised that they were only having a four match series this time and not playing at Headingley when I saw the fixture list.

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