What is The Wonky Bail Award?

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< 1 minute read

Simple question.

Regular King Cricket contributor, Sam, spotted this in a pub in Ilsington, Devon.

He does not know what it is.

We do not know what it is.

Is The Wonky Bail purely the name of the award? Do you receive The Wonky Bail for exceptional achievement in some unspecified field?

Or is the award given to the person who possesses the wonkiest bail? And if so, what does that mean?

Does the pub hand out the award or has the pub received the award?

What is The Wonky Bail Award?

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  1. A clue to the answer is surely in the name of the pub: The Carpenter’s Arms.

    The Wonky Bail Award celebrates especially gash attempts at carpentry within the parish of Islington.

    It is said that many Devonians believe the wonky bail itself, which was the original winning entry for the (at that time yet unnamed) award, to have special, cricket-improving, powers. This has led to The Carpenter’s Arms becoming a place of pilgrimage.

    But others suggest that pilgrims go to The Carpenters in search of Dartmoor Jail Ale – tag line: “Best Kept Behind Bars”.


    Sounds like my kinda place. Thanks Sam.

  2. Ilsington. Not Islington.

    Bloody typical London-centric, tofu eating, woke, metropolitan elite. There is life outside the M25, you know.

    1. So irritating, because I typed Ilsington – obviously – in order to research the place. It’s not me, it is people like you, Sam, and software like Apple’s autocorrect on iPad, making assumptions that I must be a London-centric, tofu-eating metropolitan elite person who has been to Islington many times but never been to Ilsington.

      Mind you:


      But I don’t like tofu.

      1. I once directed a student production of Churchill’s ‘Heart’s Desire’. Highly meta and extremely pretentious. It was a sign of things to come.

      2. A sign of things to come for you, Sam? Or for British theatre? Or for the sort of answers that Prime Ministers give when asked questions on the campaign trail?

        As my own youthful attempts at drama include Andorra by Max Frisch and The Caretaker by Harold Pinter, I’ll tread carefully around your meta and pretentious efforts in years gone by.

        Coincidentally, I am currently writing up some of my school drama experiences from 50 years ago. This little piece might amuse:


        My efforts might even be worthy of a Wonky Bail Award. “I’d like to thank my mum who gave me so much help and encouragement…”

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