Allen Stanford can be found through the simple method of conspicuously dropping some change

You probably saw yesterday that Mexican authorities had a mooch around one of Stanford’s private planes. There were some cheques in there which were allegedly related to the Gulf cartel, Mexico’s most violent gang. Now the media are hinting that Allen Stanford is involved in money laundering.

As we said the other day: Millonaires, billionaires? They’ve all done something wrong. When money is that big a priority – which you can safely assume it is with millionaires and billionaires – their priorities are warped and inhuman.

If you were run over in a public car park and the only person there to help you was a billionaire, they’d walk straight past you and check the ticket machine to see if there was a quid in the tray where the change comes out.

If you were dying of thirst in the Gobi desert and a billonaire was there with a bottle of water, they’d charge you a quid for it.

If you had a heart attack while returning your trolley at the supermarket and there was only a billonaire to help you, they’d step on you and take your trolley back to claim the quid.

In short, if there’s a quid in the area, that’s all a billionaire will think about. They love pound coins.

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8 Appeals

  1. dammit, they found him before i had chance to pimp this piece of fine art out more
    http://scienceandpies.tumblr.com/post/79666649/wheres-alan

    It seems that that picture is in Virginia.

  2. Eh, have they found him? Bugger. I’ve been searching the picture non-stop since you put it up a few days ago, Ne, and I couldn’t see him. At least I can get some sleep now.

  3. That picture has made my eyes hurt. I’m glad he’s turned up.

  4. I’ve added a link to a bigger image if you’re too old…

    He’s in there though…

  5. I can’t seem to find him Ne, but I’m fairly sure I saw Lord Lucan in there.

  6. The guy with a fez on towards the middle of the picture looks like Ricky Ponting. Well well well, the plot thickens.

  7. As a well-known billionaire (I always carry ZIM$1B in my pocket) I really resent your prejudice, KC.

    It’s just as well for you that you don’t charge for your subscription or else I might well have decided to cancel, in time-honoured fashion, to save a few bob.

  8. King Cricket

    February 22, 2009 at 11:02 am

    We are thinking of charging a quid for life membership in order to weed out the billionaires.

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