(Almost) everyone rejoice: India have picked Rohit Sharma for an away Test match again

Rohit Sharma drives (via YouTube)

India have again let Rohit Sharma don white clothing overseas. This is excellent news for fans of explosions in fireworks factories.

For context, Rohit averages 85 in Test matches in India, so he’s a brilliant batsman. He also averages 25.75 outside India, so he’s a rubbish batsman.

India like picking Rohit Sharma overseas and we like India picking Rohit Sharma overseas because somehow or other it is always likely to be funny.

Inexplicably short of all-rounders and wicketkeepers, India batted him at six on day one of the first Test against Australia. This presented something of a danger as it gave all of the batsmen above him an opportunity to enrage fans first and in so doing steal his thunder.

KL Rahul flung his bat at a wide one, Murali Vijay flung his bat at a wide one, Virat Kohli flung his bat at a wide one, and Ajinkya Rahane flung his bat at the widest one. (Cheteshwar Pujara, meanwhile, busied himself making a hundred, because throwing his bat at wide ones really isn’t his preferred method of enraging fans.)

You may think all of this bat-throwing left Rohit with nowhere left to turn, but guess again. After clattering three sixes – including a ludicrous one over extra cover off a 90mph Pat Cummins delivery – he realised that there was plenty of fan fury to be tapped into on the leg-side and duly skied Nathan Lyon with all the grace and timing of someone extremely skilful attempting to deliver the definitive horrible slog.


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16 Appeals

  1. Reading the Cricinfo comments apparently Pujara was enraging fans by batting cautiously and not getting out. It always cracks me up when they publish comments along the line of “he’s only scored 3 runs off the last 5 overs, why do they pick him over Dhawan?”

  2. The Pant “shot” was possibly my favourite shot of the year. I’m not entirely sure what India (Pujara aside) were playing at.

    Williamson was his maginificent self today as well, but I am fairly sure that Pujara and Azhar Ali are the two most under-appreciated batsmen in the world so it has been nice seeing them do the business this week.

  3. Hello friends.

    My three-year-old son and I came up with a joke today.

    ‘Why did Stuart Broad go to the doctors? Because he wasn’t appealing very well.’

  4. Meanwhile Pakistan seem to be doing that thing that only Pakistan can do in the “snatching defeat from the jaws of victory” department.

    Last time I looked NZ were four down and still behind Pakistan’s first innings score.

    Now I look and Pakistan are four down chasing plenty:

    http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/18879/scorecard/1157383/new-zealand-vs-pakistan-3rd-test-nz-in-uae-2018-19

    Williamson, Nicholls and/but who the heck is this Somerville fellow, batting five and taking wickets for fun?

    • Ah, I see Somerville IS a bowler, went in as night watchman second dig. Off-break fella.

      Three initials: WER Somerville. Ideally suited in a cricketing nominative determinism sense.

      Debut match aged 34. Late Somerville or Indian Somerville in his case. Good for him.

      • Pakistan need to look on the bright side. It could be WERS.

      • A simply delightful pun, Balladeer. How old is your infant child? Very witty – many congratulations to the little one.

      • The moment when you realise Sam’s three-year-old is funnier than you are.

      • Debut match at 34 with 18 FC games behind him over a 13 year career. How does that even happen?!

      • Somerville has spent most of his cricketing life in Sydney, where he grew up after being born in NZ. Went back to NZ for university, then to Sydney again to work as an accountant while playing club cricket on the side.

        Spinners don’t really peak until around 30 anyway, which is when he started playing for NSW.

  5. Have you seen Justin Langer complaining in a passive-aggressive way about Kohli? Basically claiming hypocrisy/double-standards? Elite “not getting it”. It inspired a rant by me in the comments section. Does this sum things up as far as you guys see it or am I too missing the point?

    Nope, wrong again. At worst people would just think you were crass nobs, which is basically what people think of you anyway, as well as Kohli when he goes over the top like that. Nobody would think you were “the worst blokes in the world”. They only think that when you spend years behaving absolutely horrifically towards everybody else as an intentional part of your tactical approach, spend all your time getting on your high horse when people point out how unpleasant it is, then have a massive hypocritical tantrum and completely lose your shit whenever anybody gives some back to you a la Warner when South Africa gave him a taste of his own medicine last year, and then in fact, you lose your heads so much about being on the receiving end of abuse which, when you do it is always definitely the right side of “the line” (which apparently only Australian cricketers know the exact location of), that you decide to do some of the most blatant cheating ever seen in order to try and save yourselves from losing to that opposition. THEN you initially act like it’s nothing and you’ll just get on with it.
    That is what it takes for people to think you are “the worst”. Even then, it’s only a game of cricket, so you don’t have to spend a year crying and soul searching about it. Just grow up, stop calling people horrific names non-stop in the name of gaining a tactical advantage, and then you can bowl all the bouncers etc you want and nobody will bat an eyelid. Just learn the difference between “aggressive” (EVERYONE tries to be aggressive on the pitch. That’s the whole point of international cricket) and “an arsehole” (only the Australian team has seemingly aimed for/revelled in achieving this state of being on the pitch in recent years – and that is why they have rubbed everyone they’ve played up the wrong way).

    Rant over.

  6. Looks like the Aussies threw their bats at wide ones too. Hey ho, I will take a lead of 166 with 7 wickets in hand.
    India once again let the lower order almost get away with it. Oz shouldn’t have crossed 200 after being 127-6

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