Beer sales are down. Moisturiser sales are through the roof.
The metrosexualisation of Australian society has damaged the cricket team immeasurably.
No-one eats steak any more; they all eat scallops in an Indonesian-style jus. When Simon Katich isn’t in Sydney, male body hair in the city is down by a quarter.
In a recent survey, Australia was voted the ponciest country in the entire wo-
[Hubris overload. Hubris overload. Abort post. Abort post.]