Give an Australian bowler the solidified lump of blancmange known as a Kookaburra cricket ball (which is used in Australia) and he’ll pound in and bowl at off stump until the batsman deliberately misses one to save himself from the boredom. Give an Australian bowler an English Duke cricket ball and his tiny automaton brain will buckle under the stress brought about by bowling with a ball which actually does something for more than three overs.
Bowl at an Australian batsman with a Kookaburra ball and he’ll line it up and spank it to the boundary all day, safe in the knowledge that each delivery will be as threatening as an underarm from your granny. Swing a Duke cricket ball past his outside edge and his legs will jellify and he’ll start muttering about witchcraft and ball-tampering before extravagantly leaving a ball which goes on to hit middle.
Swings the ball in and out from over the wicket or round the wicket. Puts it exactly where he wants it.
‘Yeah, maybe in May when the ball’s swinging, but he’ll get 0-200 in July’.
This is England. The ball always swings. It’s a wet country and a damp climate helps the ball swing. Cardiff and Birmingham are as wet in July as they are in May. This Ashes series isn’t even going to be competitive.