David Warner’s beard is probably worth talking about at least just a little bit

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< 1 minute read

David Warner looks like the top half of his head spent a year at home and the bottom half of his head spent a year in the literal wilderness.

The top half of the head has been drinking frappuccinos and eating plenty of vegetables. The bottom half of the head has… seen things.

The top half of the head says nothing at all. The bottom half the head says: “We were… It was all so… Sorry, it’s just all so raw. I don’t know if I can talk about it yet.”

I wrote more about David Warner’s beard as my latest Did You See for Cricket 365. Go there immediately, read it and then report back.


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  1. Looks like he’s stuck it on – rather patchily – with PVA, like one of those bad ‘disguises’ from a 1970s TV series.

    1. He’s definitely giving off a “pubes ‘n’ glue practical joke victim” vibe.

  2. I agree – the extreme weirdness of it comes from the fact that the hair on the top of his head is so carefully and neatly coiffed.

    I think Warner’s barber simply forgot to sort out the beard…

    …or spent so long on the upper-barnet he ran out of time to tidy the strange.

    I can’t see the MCC stewards letting Warner through the Grace Gates looking like that.

    Is his tee-shirt made of yellowy-orange sandpaper, btw?

  3. “I wrote”!!? I don’t expect such poor grammar from this website. 🙄

  4. “I wrote”?? “My latest”??

    See, this is what writing about the Warners of the world does to royalty.

    1. We can only apologise. We wrote this immediately after the piece itself and clearly forgot to flick the collective editorial voice switch. Also we’ve been ill. It’s not an excuse.

  5. With the possible exception of Bagnold’s Long Range Desert Group, that kind of unruly neck growth doesn’t pass muster.

  6. Warner has long been an admirer of beards. Why else would he have lashed out at Joe Root for wig abuse?

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