Graham Onions celebrates

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Jambon-Gris OignonsGraham Onions was called into the England squad today and he’s celebrated in fine style.

It’s been debated whether runs scored at Taunton count as much, being as the pitch is famously so generous to batsmen. If that’s the case, what are wickets worth? Presumably more.

We’ve also argued that Taunton could be perceived as a good ground on which to rate potential Test players as Test pitches are generally more batsman-friendly than county ones. This applies to bowlers even more than batsmen. Get wickets here and you can get wickets on most pitches.

Durham made 543 in their current match against Somerset, so it’s reasonable to assume that the pitch is typically Tauntonian. In reply, Somerset were absolutely levelled by Graham Onions. All out for 69 with Onions dismissing five of the top seven on the way to 6-31.

There is no way that is a bad bowling performance. We’re not fully convinced that Onions is the best Durham bowler, but this kind of thing definitely helps.

We’re not going to let ourself get drawn into any Onions jokes, but we will ask this: has anyone ever met another Onions?


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  1. Never met an Onions and according to this map one of their areas of highest concentration is the part of Wales I’m from, so statistically only correspondents from Telford or Wolverhampton are more likely to have run into one.

    (Am pretty sure it’s a Welsh surname meaning Einion’s son, and of the other comically Anglicised Welsh surnames I’ve known the best has been Ovens.)

  2. Why is Kingcricket not covering the IPL….I for one, looked forward to having some good saucy writing coming from this blog, but it has disappointed.

    Or does it only cover “white ” teams ….(sorry, had to say it)

  3. The main thing about the IPL(apart from the ridiculous clothing, team names, money and the fact that it’s not played in India) is that no-one gives a toss about the results.

  4. fuck my old boots, what is it with persecuted Indians today, Jrod”s been inundated.

    It’s a meaningless domestic tournament. Nothing more.

  5. KC has covered the IPL several times this season, Indian Guy, in particular the antics of the Fake IPL Player Blog. You just haven’t looked long and hard enough through the past postings.

    But KC does have his prejudices, in particular his assertion that only 1st division LVCC players are worth watching. “Oh no, he’s on about that again”, I hear the regular readers cry……….

  6. White team ?? Why the hell are you playing the race card for God’s sake Indian Guy??.There are non whites in as you put white teams but I have never heard of any white in Indian team with exception of ‘Brits in india’ days.
    IPL is a money making travesty and a joke. I don’t give a toss about it.
    Oh by the way, I am British and an Indian.

  7. I’m all in favour of covering “white teams” only. I’ve never really liked limited overs cricket.

  8. Might I guess here that KC is not a big old racist (they may be, but they’ve always hidden it quite well to me), rather they don;t have Setanta, the subscription only channel showing the cash cow, erm, wondrous even here in the UK?

    I could be wrong. Maybe KC hates all non-whites? Well? hmm? Do you?

    ANYWAY, (I THINK) I went to scientific talk by and Dr Onions once… something to to with pigs and viruses. I don’t remember too well.

  9. “But KC does have his prejudices, in particular his assertion that only 1st division LVCC players are worth watching. “Oh no, he’s on about that again”, I hear the regular readers cry……….”

    Beg pardon, Ged Ladd? Two words: Rob Key!

    And no, KC. I’ve only been in the presence of that particular Onions. On the first occasion he helped demolish my team and made me cry.

  10. We truly believe that the colour of a person’s skin shouldn’t affect how much you hate them.

  11. What about the colour or quantity of their hair? Does that affect how much you hate someone?

  12. Thanks Nick. Most people are ‘disappointed’ or ‘enraged’ after reading the site. ‘Impressed’ is a pleasant change.

    Sometimes people are embarrassed on our behalf.

  13. If KC is true to his word, Sarah, Rob Key is off the radar for “one to watch” now.

    He migth still be on the “girth” radar as far as I know. I think KC is prepared to make mirth of the girth regardless of race, age or LVCC division.

  14. becuase Indians are sht and cnts and deserve to be enslaved and then flogged to death becuase they suck at everything and then fed to the roaches so that the roaches die too

    fck them

  15. The IPL is certainly a circus, and does not yet have a fan following outside the subcontinent. But that’s 1.5 billion people…potentially 1.5 billion clicks on KC’s page….and covering county cricket’s average joes …surely KC had better cover the IPL than to fill its pages with page-fillers….

  16. Surely there’s a hefty batch of Hindi. Urdu, Bengali, Gujarati, Kannada, Malayalam, Oriya, Punjabi, Tamil and Telugu amongst those 1.5 billion?

    And the remainder would probable opt for ‘sense’ over the shite you get on this site.

  17. The queen speaks an obscure dialect no-one understands – other than that, fair point.

    What are Indian internet habits? Is English the language in which they search for cricket news? Does English offer the best cricket coverage?

    We’re genuinely interested.

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