Mominul Haque – possible focal point for faintly unhinged obsessive tendencies

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People latch onto particular players for all sorts of odd reasons, developing long, intense, one-way relationships with them. Maybe you attended the one match where an otherwise poor player achieved momentary competence or perhaps they were the first player you saw responding to ‘give us a wave’.

It can be anything. It can even be that your name sounds a bit like a drunk person saying a team-mate’s name – a team-mate’s name which when mispronounced sounds like ‘animal’.

So thank you Anamul Haque. Your work is now perhaps done. You have drawn to our attention Mominul Haque; we have noticed that he has scored two hundreds and two fifties in his first nine Test innings; and we have consequently, probably, inadvertently adopted him.

Mominul is currently averaging 83.42 and will probably never average that much again. These two hundreds against New Zealand will probably come to be seen as aberrative; an odd and freakish flash of early form which committed us to years of imagining that every innings of 22 not out could have become 222 not out if only it hadn’t rained for four days.

In 2015, Bangladesh will finally drop him after a long run of low scores. The very next match will be a high-scoring draw and we’ll be livid because if Mominul had played, he would have recaptured form and confidence and gone on a run-scoring spree the like of which has never been seen before.

Why couldn’t they have held on for one more Test? Why couldn’t they have given Mominul Haque one more innings? Some people can’t see greatness even when it’s right in front of their eyes.


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  1. I think you are trying to say that Anamul’s contribution has been Minimal, whereas Mominul’s contribution has been more than Nominal, possibly even Maximal.

    How many brothers are there in that family? And how is Mrs Haque’s health after all that parturition?

    1. Surely you’re not trying to pervert this veritable banter-fest through the inappropriate insertion of facts and veracity, KC?

      What sort of a monster are you becoming?

  2. So what remains to be seen, to use an Australianism, is over the long term, can he Haque it?

  3. Haque needed 4 more runs to get the most runs in a series ever by a Bangladeshi, and the last day was rained out with him stuck on 126*.

    Those bastards.

    1. Think it exists in the sense that idiots like us keep using it and eventually everyone just tires and can’t be bothered fighting it any more.

      Don’t like it. It’s wrong.

  4. Did you know that Nasir Hossain (the Bangladeshi “allrounder”) is only 21 years old and averages 45 with the bat in both tests and ODIs? And also that Mominul is only 22? Shakib, Mushfiqur, and Tamim Iqbal are the “old men” of the Bangladesh team and they’re 26, 25, and 24, respectively. So maybe when these guys actually mature Bangladesh might have a respectable team. Or maybe they’ll drop all of them once they turn 28, and start the cycle all over again.

    1. You were half right King. Four left out your eight predicted. That’s what I got from making a comparation between the 2007 side and now.

    2. Excellent research.

      So that’s the ‘old men’ mentioned in Dan M’s coment and then Abdur Razzak’s the other.

  5. Mine: Vusi Sibanda, Chris Nash, Mfuneko Ngam and Dinanath Ramnarine. And an Indian medium-pacer called Kumaran who opened the bowling in the first Test I ever saw on Sky. Cricket, eh?

  6. In the 1992 World Cup, Inzimam had the name ‘Haq’ on his back. This bothered me. Even though I was only seven years old. I didn’t go outside much.

  7. I’m still hoping for Jehan Mubarak to fulfil his vast potential that I first saw during a Twenty20 against Kenya about six years ago.

    Just checked: 46 not out from 13 balls including five sixes. It was his T20I debut – and remains his top score.

    He’s still the first name I look for on a Sri Lankan scorecard – even though he hasn’t played a Test for about six years. He’s let me down.

    1. Nonsense. If he hasn’t played a Test in six years, the selectors have let you down.

      You’re right. It’s the rest of the world that’s wrong. (This is not the first time we have expressed this sort of sentiment.)

  8. Oh, oh, I got one. What would Mominul be called when he suddenly quits playing for his country and chooses IPL? A hack, that’s what.

    Yes? Yes?

  9. Headline when A finally makes a big score:

    Anamul Magic.

    Headline when A “does a Mark Vermeulen” and sets fire to stuff or something erratic like that:

    Anamul Crackers.

    1. Headline when A inexplicably finds himself affixed to a metal object for a prolonged period of time.

      Anamul magnetism.

  10. The phonetic representation of “Haque” also means the word “rights” in Hindi. So Anamul Haque => Animal Rights…

    1. When M starts to make real money, I guess that income will be recorded in…

      …the Mominul ledger…

      …and once much of the Bangladesh economy revolves around M’s income-generating potential…

      …Mominul GDP.

  11. a. haque on desert island discs… anamul tracks

    saffer “zipgate”: deliberate, really? i’m not suggesting they are all (ahem) whiter than white or anything – i mean, we all said that about hansie “what would jesus do” cronje, and look how that turned out – but why risk being caught cheating in a match you are practically incapable of losing? with high-def tv cameras absolutely guaranteed to pick it up and show it again and again in glorious slo-mo… just can’t get my head round that one :-S

  12. And you can see him deliberately stretching the zip to expose the teeth before rubbing the ball on them.

    If you’re going to be that unsubtle, why not just have a nibble like Afridi?

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