Somebody likes Matthew Hayden

As you probably know, that person is Usain Bolt, a Jamaican giant who can run quickly. Matthew Hayden has responded, which rather pleasingly means he’s had another go at ‘talking’.

First of all, we’ll remind you why it is FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG to like Matthew Hayden. The first thing he said was:

“It’s pretty humbling isn’t it for an old fisherman and surfer in Queensland who now and then plays a bit of cricket.”

Then Matthew tells us how his being in one place liking sprinting, while Usain Bolt’s in a second place liking cricket is somehow ‘healthy’.

“He obviously loves cricket and it’s so healthy to know I can be here and he can be there and we can mutually enjoy each others sports.”

Then he makes a statement without any context and it’s a bit hard to know what he means.

“It’s just the pure adrenalin seeking mission of being the fastest man on earth and it’s a phenomenal achievement and we’re all very proud of him as well.”

Who’s this ‘we’? Jamaicans? Cricketers? Just what are you blathering on about?

At least when he’s making no sense he’s not making you cringe with his pathetic attempts at modesty. Small mercies.

Thanks to Miriam for pointing out that Usain Bolt has lamentable taste in cricketers.

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7 Appeals

  1. “It’s pretty humbling isn’t it for an old fisherman and surfer in Queensland who now and then plays a bit of cricket.”

    Let’s just hope it’s just “then” and not “now” anymore

  2. I’ve been studying reading in between the lines at a belgian university, and this is what he really said.

    “It’s pretty humbling isn’t it for a bear-like, orphan eating fuckhead who has an ego the size of my massive chest”


  3. Thank god you’ve done away with the token Hayden picture. Not because it was old and often used, but because no one needs to see that face ever.

  4. I absolutely hate Hayden and I think he actually paid Bolt to plug him!

  5. I like Matthew Hayden.

    He’s a cricketers cricketer.

  6. Fishermen occasionally fall into the sea and drown. Really.

  7. King Cricket

    August 27, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Surfers too. It’s a high-risk lifestyle and no mistake.

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