Only the gift is a poo in a box and it keeps jumping up and punching you in the face, leaving you bruised and faecal.
Eventually the poo knocks you out, whereupon it steals all your money and forces you to dance naked in the car park at work in order to win back your clothes and cash – though not your dignity. You will never get that back. Never.
Matthew Hayden hit 103 on a pitch where tailenders are hitting fifties and India’s best bowler’s injured. You have to admire the way he takes advantage. No, not admire – respect. No, not respect – acknowledge. No, not acknowledge – resent.