We’re pacing ourself like Eoin Morgan

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Eoin Morgan playing a mediocre sort of shot

Apologies for the delay. We’ve a new internet provider and getting back online is never easier than pushing string.

Eoin Morgan’s hundred against Australia is worthy of high praise, but if we’ve learnt anything from the serious-faced Paddy finishotron, it’s to pace yourself. We’ve got to leave ourself room for manoeuvre for when he plays an even more exceptional innings.

We’ve said he’s played the best Twenty20 innings by an England player, we’ve called him a Paul Collingwood deluxe and we’ve said he’ll make it as a Test batsman. We’re not going to leave ourself anywhere to go at this rate.

With that in mind, Eoin Morgan’s 85-ball 103 not out to get England home against Australia was somewhere between ‘passably fair’ and ‘reasonable’.

By this new scale, Ajit Agarkar’s bowling is now officially ‘unclassified’.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. The problem with praising England players is that either no-one takes you seriously or everyone assumes you are being sarcastic.

    Hence you can get around the problem by praising them in language a child on Sesame street would use. This avoids being uninteresting and presents how low you are willing to go to compliment them.

    On that basis, I believe that Eoin Morgan is an izzy whizzy super duper cricketer.

  2. I don’t understand why you are being nasty about Agarkar. He averages 47.32 batting and 16.79 bowling in Tests.

    Ohhh! ROFLMBO it’s the other way around, LOL

  3. Agarkar made a stunning red ink test hundred against England at Lord’s but on no other occasion even made 50 in a test. Indeed, his measley test batting average drops by nearly 3 runs if you remove that one innings.

    I thought Eoin Morgan’s batting the other night was OK.

  4. The odd thing about Morgan is that he is actually completely faultless.

    Look at any other England cricketer and we can always pick holes in some aspect of their game but Eoin doesn’t seem to have any weaknesses.

  5. Struggling to fault his batting technique I find myself drawn to his name. No matter how often I hear it pronounced as Owen I see it as Eoin (EE-O-IN). It is proving a terrible distraction not felt since Derwla Kirwin accomdated Michael Gambon in a field of long grass. Off to have words with myself!

  6. We favour a distinctly Irish vowel sound that’s neither ‘Owen’ or ‘Eoin’. It might not be the right one, but it makes us feel better. It’s kind of ‘Orrrrn’.

    No advice rearding Kirwan and Gambon though. You’re on your own with that one.

  7. Bobby K, our attempt is probably too accurate for that.

    All-time worst pronounced footballer’s name: Christian Karembeu.

    No, it doesn’t rhyme with caribou.

  8. You can’t pronounce it “Orrrrn”, your majesty, Eoin Morgan hails from the republic, not Northern Ireland.

    Pronounce it Owin’ with a relatively soft “o”, as in “owin’ the rent”. Your majesty.

  9. That’s true, it does come out a bit Ian Paisley.

    Consider our pronunciation altered henceforth.

  10. Try as I might I am unable to deal with Jacques du Toit . Is he a Twat. KC can you annunciate on this?

  11. I like how thesaurusrus appended an LOL at the end of his sentence, just in case his ROFLMBO failed to drive home the point.

  12. Given that his stupid reverse sweep is is supposed to be ‘his’ shot, he doesn’t half enjoy lucky top edged variations.

  13. Why don’t you guys leave Agarkar alone????

    What has all the other filthy bowlers in India done to invite any appreciation????

    You and your sick attitude…….

Comments are closed.