Is Eoin Morgan a Test cricketer?
Eoin Morgan has been included in an England Test squad for the first time after excelling in the shorter formats. However, his first-class average is 36 – and that with a lot of second division cricket. Is he good enough to make runs in Test cricket?
We tend to think he is.
Can he cope with Test bowling?
Yep, although we’ll have to see how he copes when bowlers bounce the shit out of him, which is the first thing a Test team should do with any batsman who is seen as being a one-day specialist. Bangladesh won’t do this, so we’ll have to wait for Pakistan’s arrival later in the summer for our answers here.
Is he patient enough for a Test innings?
This is harder to gauge. He does have a double hundred in first-class cricket, but his average is pretty piss-poor. From what we’ve seen, he’s a batsman who always plays the situation, which is a good sign. He doesn’t just bat, he adapts. In the longer format, we reckon he’ll set himself for hundreds.
Does he have the right character and attitude?
You can’t fault Eoin Morgan on that score. This is why he’s in the Test squad. Judging by how successful he’s been for England, it seems like he might switch-on when he’s on the bigger stage. Perhaps he struggles to find motivation in the second division of the County Championship. We can’t even find the motivation to read the scores, so we’d understand that.
The King Cricket verdict
We’re definitely in favour. We’ve seen enough ordinary-looking batsmen scoring runs in Test cricket where technically accomplished batsmen have foundered to believe that it’s what’s in your ‘ead as counts. Eoin Morgan’s ‘ead is full of fist-pumping victories as far as we can tell.
Some cricketers are crippled by nerves. Others find they need nerves to get them going. We’d put Eoin Morgan in the second camp.
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Eoin Morgan is the final piece in the jigsaw of England’s dominance of world cricket. It’s a bit like those jigsaws of a tray of baked beans where every piece looks the same. In this case, every potential piece looks like a test cricketer, and the jigsaw man has made it more difficult by providing a lot more pieces than will eventually go into the finished thing. You try some likely pieces, but despite turning them round several times in your hand you can’t get them to fit properly in the gap, although you can’t quite work out why they don’t fit. Some of them seem so convincing that you try them a dozen times or more, despite knowing deep down that they’re not going to suddenly start fitting when they didn’t before. Then incredibly you find that a piece that you had previously only considered for use in a different format of jigsaw actually fits perfectly into the gap in your main jigsaw as well (it’s a three-in-one too-many-pieced baked beans jigsaw). Hey presto, the jigsaw is complete, and all you need to do now is keep your little brother Lalit away from the jigsaw table until you’ve shown the finished thing to some Australians.
Despite the frequency with which the word ‘beans’ appeared, we’re reasonably confident in taking that as a ‘yes’.
Given their appalling start to the season I think Durham’s jigsaw might be this even more horrid conundrum than mere beans: http://tinyurl.com/beansnsprouts.
What are you going to do about Durham O king? You’re not concentrating your powers sufficiently this season
We think maybe our powers have largely been concentrated on a bunch of Durham cricketers who aren’t actually playing.
To be fair to Durham, their disastrous start to the season features one Championship loss. It’s not as catastrophic as an olive without stuffing or tiny sandwich bread with large slices of sandwich meat.
KC, your idea of catastrophic sandwiches is very different to mine. Over filled sandwiches are a joy. What is a catastrophe is when people do not appreciate that sandwich making needs to be done in a particular order. First the butter, then the ham, then the cheese (*), then the salad. NEVER the salad in the middle of two other fillings. That is wrong. How am I then meant to work out which way up the sandwich is (salad obviously on the top)? You can’t eat an upside down sandwich. This sloppy attention to detail drives me potty.
* – feel free to substitute fillings of your choice here. I understand that some people may not be able to relate to this if cheese and ham are sandwich fillings that they don’t enjoy.
KC. Could you not just fold the meat so it’s the same size as the bread?
But then if you keep folding it, it keeps breaking and then everything has to be folded… and then it’s… this…
Do triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones? discuss.
What’s on them?
Thesaurusrus – yes. As any fule kno.
Also, cheese sandwiches taste better if the cheese is grated (not so much for Stilton or Brie sandwiches, granted).
Is Eoin Morgan a Test cricketer?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Nooooooooooooooo.
I love watching Morgan play in the short form but the England selectors know better than to use it as a training ground for Test cricketers.
Morgan is a stop-gap for Colly’s injury. Long term, England will look to include batsmen who have excelled in first-class cricket, perhaps James Taylor or Ben Stokes.
Of course, Morgan is still quite young himself, so I’m willing to give him a chance. But he shouldn’t be considered a first-class cricketer until he is definitely a first-class cricketer.
Morgan will have to wait until the deformed duo of Siddle and Bollinger get going to have the shit bounced out of him, if he gets the chance.
The top of the sandwich is where the mayonnaise lives.
Daneel – True, but you have to make sure you grate the cheese yourself, pre-grated cheese is the work of Satan.
I just came across an advert for used Morgan cars in Sandwich. I’m still digesting it.
Why would you do that to an advert and then consume it?
KC, do you reckon that Andy Flower keeps a cricket bat in his office?
Having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
Grated cheese is definitely better. But I have slashed my fingers open countless times in the pursuit of this luxury. And the grater isn’t the easiest of kitchen appliances to wash up.
I’ve heard Ed Joyce is after a game. And he’s Irish so he’s over qualified for the England team.
That is a risque statement coming from you,your highness.
I have often fantasised about a meat sandwich with no bread. Like bacon and chees sandwich with steak instead of bread
KC – 9:56pm
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh my word.
And urggghhh.
price – you’ll be looking forward to the KFC Double Down, then.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Down_%28KFC%29
Eoin the Baked Bean
He’d be delicious in a sandwhich Mmmmm …