What’s happened to Durham this season?

Funny caption supplied by reader's brainAs we pointed out yesterday, Durham’s season isn’t a complete catastrophe. Two wins, two draws and a loss isn’t the end of the world. (The machines haven’t even managed to produce a single robot cricketer yet, so the end of the world’s months away.)

That said, Durham are increasingly prone to getting themselves into pretty ordinary positions in County Championship matches. Yesterday they were bowled out for 121.

Durham have always been prone to this kind of thing and the main reason why they won the County Championship in each of the last two seasons is because of their ‘anything you can do…’ attitude. These bad positions are more common this year though. Why?

Well, it’s basically because all their bowlers are injured. Graham Onions, Mark Davies and Callum Thorp are all out and Steve Harmison’s only just returned. Steve always returns in person long before he returns in impact as well, so you’d call that three-and-a-half injuries until the lolloping ganglotron of mental fragility gets back in the swing of things.

Durham’s batting’s heavily reliant on Michael Di Venuto and Dale Benkenstein. That’s normally okay, because if they don’t score, the other batsmen cobble together a nearly-mediocre score which is all the Durham bowlers need to go at. However, without the bowlers, a nearly-mediocre score is just that.

In conclusion: go Lancashire.

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8 Appeals

  1. To add to woes Stokes has dished his ankle and deposed cap’n Smith has vanished – possibly a victim of the feeding frenzy that has afflicted several of Durham’s finest who make Jacques Kallis seem positively svelte. Stuck with being a Middlesbrough fan and therefore used to failure and mediocrity in the footy I do crave a bit of success in the cricket. Pah.

  2. I’m terribly sorry for this, Ceci, because given your admission of being a fan of the Boro I suspect there is no graver insult I could give (well, maybe two). Where I live, I am in the unlucky circumstance of being deep among Man U fans, and I know what they are like. Winning is not enough. They have to win easily, and every year, and in style, and with knobs on (in the original sense, although I suspect that for some Man U fans both senses apply). Ordinary winning is just their “meh” position.

    Ceci, you sounded like a Man U fan.

    There, I’ve said it. You’ve won the bloody thing twice running! You crave success? How can you crave any more success than that? So you might have a season where you don’t quite win it!! My team hasn’t won the County Championship IN MY LIFETIME!!! Actually, they haven’t won it in my lifetime and a half, despite my letters to the coaching staff!!! (!)

    Don’t become like them, Ceci. Don’t think Pah about a modest start to a season. You’re in 4th place for god’s sake! Remember how it used to be, when even winning a match brought you happiness. Losing is the meh position – winning is the superlative (or so I’m told by people in Sussex).

  3. I agree with Nick -sorry, Bert.

    Being, as I am, from darkest Leicestershire, I support the cricket, football and rugby sides, and to be honest it’s a lot more fun supporting the football and cricket teams due to their awfulness. A win really means something to those sides. Plus, there’s a pleasant touch of masochism about it.

    Leicestershire have been so mediocre throughout their existence that the two championship successes in the 90s, and the two Twenty20 wins in the 00s really meant something to supporters.

    As a Tigers fan, everyone else in the country (and in other countries) hates you, and winning the league every year isn’t enough, you have to win the playoff too, then you have to win the European Cup…expectations are so high that every year is inevitably a disappointment although by any other club’s standards they’d be a huge success.

    Don’t shun mediocrity – embrace it!

  4. I especially like the imperative “go Lancashire”, as the Lanckeys seem to have gone and done a bit of a Durham since KC posted this piece.

    Oh, and Durham have lost by an innings and….

  5. “lolloping ganglotron”

  6. Too many people assume that if you’re not winning, then you’re mediocre. For some counties mediocrity is something to aspire to and dream about.

    Gloucestershire.

  7. /\

    applause

  8. I enjoy supporting a mediocre county, It makes it all the more special when we win, and adds to the anticipation. However I am struggling a bit with the notion that I shall shortly be expected to cheer Scott Styris. Gulp.

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