For many people, this was the moment when England won the Ashes, but we didn’t see it like that. We actually found the whole Test - and the last day in particular - a slightly maudlin experience.

It was the last Test, a great Ashes series was nearly over and it was September, meaning no more cricket and no more daylight. We had mixed feelings. Plus it was a draw. The series was won with wins, not draws.

But England did need a draw and they got it amid the drama that characterised the series. Matthew Hayden seemed to be batting for the draw (or himself) in Australia’s first innings, but he gave them a good start. Even so, 264-1 became 367 all out after Flintoff’s final act of the series (5-78).

Ironically, this collapse gave the Australians their best chance of a win and with England falling to 126-5 and 199-7, things looked shaky - but Kevin Pietersen sorted it out.

Being as more and more people got interested in the 2005 Ashes as it progressed, Pietersen’s innings seems to have taken on massive significance, but this was largely down to the increased level of attention and the media frenzy at this point. Its series-defining reputation is hugely unfair on the events that preceded it, but that’s not to say it wasn’t a blinding innings.

The defining moment came early. England were collapsing and put simply, Brett Lee was going to get Pietersen out. It seemed inevitable. Rather than adopt the classic English tactic of attempting to ride it out, Pietersen recognised that the status quo would lead to his dismissal, so he set out to change the situation. How should he do this? By hooking sixes, of course.

It seemed risky, but to Pietersen it made sense. It was the best way of changing what was happening and if it came off, he was free. It was very brave and very effective. He ended up with 158.

The final moment was a title-taking anti-climax. The match ended because of bad light with a weird stump-withdrawing ceremony being carried out by the umpires.

The MBEs that followed were English self-congratulation at its worst. It was only such a significant victory because the Aussies had been so superior for so long, yet they didn’t seem to need such overt acknowledgement of their years of dominance. The victories were reward in themselves.

We didn’t watch any of the open-topped bus thing or pay any attention to it on the news either, because the actual cricket was over and the Ashes is a cricket series. It was good to know that people were affected though. It was good to see the England cricket team not the butt of dated, mindless jokes any more.

Tags: Ashes, Australia, England // 5 Appeals »

We’ve been to some duff days of cricket, but Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff were at the crease for the start of day two and to say we were looking forward to it was an understatement.

While we were queueing to get in, Pietersen was caught behind. If we’d got there earlier, who knows what would have happened, because the cricketing gods were smiling on us that day.

Firstly, Andrew Flintoff hit a hundred. If you’ve never seen Andrew Flintoff hit a hundred in an Ashes Test, let us tell you this: people like it. He should try and do it more often.

Then England took some wickets. Hayden, Langer, Ponting, Martyn and Clarke and Australia hadn’t even reached 100 by the close of play. Not bad.

The next day, Simon Jones mopped up the tail and Australia were politely asked to follow-on. They set England 129 to win and Shane Warne promptly tore them a new one.

He’d done it before and he did it again even more effectively in Adelaide in 2006, but we still marvel at Shane Warne’s 4-31 in this match. It was nothing to do with the pitch or the deliveries he bowled and everything to do with paralysing a batting line-up through force of will.

Hell, he paralysed an entire nation, let alone the poor nine bastards who came to the crease. As for the number 10 - he was worst of all. If you see the footage of Steve Harmison waiting to bat, thinking the entire Ashes is going to hang on his batting ability, you are seeing the very definition of nervousness. The man practically imploded.

Presumably harnessing their nervous energy somehow were Ashley Giles and Matthew Hoggard. Giles hit the winning runs and looked quite emotional having done so, but our favourite moment was when Matthew ‘forward defensive’ Hoggard creamed a drive through the offside with just a handful to get. He’d never played that shot before in his life, we swear.

Tags: Ashes, Australia, England // 5 Appeals »

We went to one day of this match. We went the day it rained. At the time, we lived a couple of stops away on the tram, so we just waited at home until we knew when play was due to start and then headed out. We will never forget what it was like when we arrived.

Play only started at 3pm, but because this series was shaping up well, every single spectator had turned up at 10.30am and waited patiently. We say ‘patiently’ but perhaps ‘thirstily’ would be more accurate. It was abundantly clear that everyone was leathered.

People were playing impromptu games of cricket in front of the beer tent even though there were puddles everywhere and hardly anyone could stand up. When the players did come out, it was a weird atmosphere where everyone was ferociously committed to appreciating every minute, largely through shouting at Jason Gillespie.

It was a good job they enjoyed abusing poor Dizzy, because the cricket itself was mostly just Shane Warne scything fours into the offside. As soon as they’d played enough that we couldn’t get a full refund, the players went off again, even though the weather hadn’t deteriorated one bit.

The magnificent final day began with thousands of people locked out of Old Trafford and ended with England needing one wicket off the final ball. They didn’t get that wicket and Australia rejoiced.

“Look at them celebrating a draw,” said Michael Vaughan.

Tags: Ashes, Australia, England // 7 Appeals »

In the middle of the Edgbaston Test, we genuinely thought to ourself that cricket had got too good. We actually thought that cricket needed to be worse so that we could appreciate it properly. There was so much brilliant cricket to take in and not enough time to process things.

That was in the MIDDLE of this match. Now think of how it ended. That ending alone would be enough to elevate it to being the best match we’ve ever seen, but it was shaping up that way anyway.

That the third Ashes Test was scheduled for a couple of days afterwards did this match a monumental disservice. Back to back Tests should never happen, but they do happen. There’ll be two sets of back-to-back Tests in the 2009 Ashes, as if the series is something to be rushed through en route to something better. It’s bullshit. Here’s why.

Day one

There were so many crucial moments in this summer on which everything else seemed to hinge, but this was a huge one. England had been beaten at Lord’s, as usual and the batting had collapsed, as usual. Marcus Trescothick put that right on the opening morning with some searing seat-of-the-pants batting which frightened everyone, including England.

He only just about made it past the lunch break, but by that point he’d hit 90 in 102 balls. The rest of England’s batsmen thought: ‘Meh, seems to work,’ and set about the bowling with frequently rash, but effective gusto.

It was a rare occasion where Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff batted okay together. Pietersen made 71 off 76 balls. Flintoff made 68 off 62 balls, hitting no fewer than five sixes. Even Steve Harmison made 17 off 11.

Day two

Australia adopted a similar sort of batting approach, only with less risk and less success. All out for 308 before the second new ball, England were batting again by the evening. Flintoff finished the innings with two wickets in two balls.

Day three

This was when too much happened. Brett Lee and Shane Warne sent England spiralling to 31-4 then 75-6. No matter. Enter Flintoff.

It was counterattack time. We’re not entirely sure how much adrenaline is stored in a human body, but Flintoff’s body is larger than most and seems to have plenty of room for it. At the point when Australia had all their fielders on the fence and Flintoff was still aiming for sixes, you knew that this wasn’t the England of old.

And he wasn’t even finished. To crown what must rate as one of the finest days of cricket for a single individual, he then went to town on Australia’s top order in his opening over.

The first ball (a hat trick ball) brought no wicket, but that was as long as we had to wait. Justin Langer could only elbow the next delivery into his stumps, allowing Ricky Ponting to endure one of the most torrid overs imaginable. Repeatedly beaten, Ponting survived two lbw shouts and then edged the final ball to Geraint Jones in an almost inevitable climax to a stupendous over.

Australia folded to 175-8 at the close of play, needing 282 and we all retired to our beds for some rest. We didn’t know how much we would need it.

Day four

Where were you? Like all the most important moments in history, everyone knows. We were at mum and dad’s, which was just about the perfect place to be, because everyone gave a shit what happened.

We were probably starting to get nervous before Shane Warne managed to tread on his own stumps, but nervousness was about to be redefined, so that this level of nerves barely registered. We move that ‘the Edgbaston’ be the new unit of measurement for nervousness.

Brett Lee batted brilliantly. He seemed to get hit about a million times, but he just carried on making runs. Mike Kasprowicz did the same. As Australia edged ever closer to their target, you realised why cricket is the greatest sport of all. No scripted drama could ever recreate something like this.

While football might give you five minutes of anxiety and a few shots at goal in that period, cricket can give you an hour of excruciating suffering with every delivery the equivalent of a ‘chance’. We paced about, we shouted, we swore - but then there was the release. And the roar.

Sport will never top that in our lifetime. Decades of English cricketing defeat and years of Australian victory had all gone into creating that one, perfect moment when Michael Kasprowicz was caught behind with Australia one shot from victory.

Still not quite finished with this match, Flintoff immediately consoled the distraught Brett Lee. This pretty much made us cry (although we were a bit fragile by this point). Flintoff later joked that he’d whispered to him: “That’s 1-1, you Aussie bastard.”

Tags: Ashes, Australia, England // 11 Appeals »

Looking back with hindsight, the most bizarre aspect of this match was the fact that people thought Ian Bell and Graham Thorpe would keep Kevin Pietersen out of the team. In the end, England made the brave decision.

England lost this match by some distance, but they rattled the Aussie batting line-up. Harmison hit Langer on the elbow in the first over and then rattled Hayden’s helmet in the fifth. Later on, he got Ponting in the face.

This is the point about fast bowling. Getting hit in the face by a cricket ball bothers people. It really does. It affects your concentration. If you don’t believe us, sit down to do a sudoku in a batting helmet and see how you get on after a ringing blow to the temple. You could be the best damn sudokist in the world, but it’ll put you off.

The Aussies were all out for just 190, but when England batted it was all more familiar. Glenn McGrath reduced them to 66-4 and they were all out for 155. The Aussies batted better second time around and then dismissed England for 180.

England’s batting looked shot, but no batsman passed 100 in the match and Kevin Pietersen showed that English batsmen needn’t fold.

For England fans, they liked the idea that when the batting collapsed, at least they could kid themselves that the bowlers might be able to salvage things. England fans take a bit of convincing that their side isn’t incompetent, so this was pretty much boundless optimism by English standards.

Tags: Ashes, Australia, England // 7 Appeals »

People forget about the one-day series that preceded the Ashes, but they were a key part of it. They were ingeniously scheduled before the Test series, so that tension mounted. In 2009, they’re afterwards, like vegetable soup after a six-course meal.

Twenty20 match

England won the Ashes because they actually dared to attack Australia for once. They got themselves in the right frame of mind during the one-off Twenty20 match that opened the summer.

Australia might not have given it their all, which was stupid of them, because England summoned the fury. Paul Collingwood hit 46 off 26 balls, but the most important part was Darren Gough’s hat trick ball.

“I was thinking about bowling another yorker for the hat-trick, but Vaughany came over to me and said: ‘No, remember the tone we’re trying to set. Bowl it short’. I said, ‘Don’t worry, that’s what’s happening’. The passion was running through my veins and that was that. I was pumped up and it was a sight that got people right behind England.”

Gough bounced Symonds, spurning the hat trick and five further wickets fell in the next three overs. England won by 100 runs.

NatWest Series 2005

The Natwest Series also featured Bangladesh, who chased down 250 to beat Australia when those teams first met in one of the more hilarious one-day matches in recent memory.

Those who think Harmison didn’t contribute as much to England’s 2005 Ashes victory would do well to look at his contribution in this series, where he frightened the life out of the Aussie batsmen.

In the opening match between the two sides, he dismissed Gilchrist, Hayden, Ponting, Martyn and Hussey, finishing with 5-33. Kevin Pietersen hit 91 off 65 balls  in England’s succsesful run chase.

In the final, Harmison took 3-27 off ten, but England fell to 33-5 chasing. Paul Collingwood and Geraint Jones rescued the innings and a thrilling match ended in a tie.

The NatWest Challenge

The NatWest Challenge was a seemingly superfluous three match one-day series. Australia actually won this 2-1, which set the scene rather well for the Ashes proper, with England still rank underdogs.

Tags: Ashes, Australia, England // 1 Appeal »

We’re going on holiday in a bit. The ECB have foolishly left a minuscule window between the end of the World Twenty20 and the start of the Ashes and we’re using it. We’ve done stuff for you though, so that you don’t miss us.

Coming up this week, we’re taking a look back at when Australia last toured, for the Ashes series in 2005. This should get everyone in the mood before the first Test of the 2009 series. We’ve tried not to bore you, but one word of warning: The Edgbaston Test post is a bit of a monster. We hope you’ll take the time to read it though as it warrants more words than the average Test.

See you next week and try and keep your name-calling to the comments of this post.

Tags: Ashes // 2 Appeals »

Matthew Hayden has given Phil Hughes, his successor as Australia’s opener, his seal of approval.

We know what you’re all wondering: How has Hayden expressed this? The answer, of course, is ‘badly’:

“He’s got all the evidence and the skillsets he needs. His humbling personality and how respectful he is are two elements of the baggy green culture.”

Issues

• Evidence of what?
• ‘Skillset’ is a word that needs stamping out
• If ’skillset’ is a word, it refers to a set of skills. A person has a skillset, not multiple skillsets. The word Hayden is after here is ’skills’.
• ‘Humbling’ means ‘to make humble’, so presumably Phil Hughes swans around the place like some sort of emperor.
• There is no ‘baggy green culture’. It’s a hat, you headgear-fetishising knobhead.

In summary: Matthew Hayden still loves to add extra bits to normal words to try and make himself sound like he knows something, blissfully unaware that in reality it marks him out as a self-important dullard.

Tags: Australia, Matthew Hayden, Phil Hughes // 11 Appeals »

Here’s one:

No-one with a moustache could ever be evil.

Tags: Stanford Super Series // 7 Appeals »

Bit of pace, bit of bounce, good control and then there’s what the lazy among us refer to as ‘presence’; or worse, an ‘X-factor’.

The concept of an X-factor always pisses us off. It’s not that there’s some mystical, unknowable attribute. It’s just that you haven’t bothered to find out what it is.

In cricket, it’s usually something psychological and which is therefore hard to quantify. Adam Gilchrist spoke about Flintoff’s bowling this week:

“He creates an aura of control, even if you get a good shot away he has that look in his eye, and a demeanour, that suggests it is all part of a big plan.”

It’s the kind of thing Shane Warne did so well - only with Warne it was a more conscious thing. With Flintoff you suspect it’s less deliberate, or maybe we’re doing him a disservice by saying that.

Anyway, the point is, it’s not frigging magic.

Tags: Adam Gilchrist, Andrew Flintoff, Ashes // 2 Appeals »