Category: County cricket news (page 24 of 45)

Twenty20 Finals Day 2010 match reports

Apologies to all of you in the match report queue, but we’ve for once decided to publish a report at roughly the right time. If you’re worried that we’ve changed, we’d like to emphasise that this step has been taken purely because we can’t be arsed writing anything today.

Mel writes:

Following the result of the first semi-final, the four despondent Essex supporters sitting in front of us tried to think of ways in which they could pass the time for the rest of the day. Their team had been eliminated and their incessant heckling of the Hampshire supporters sitting around them had backfired in a rather spectacular fashion.

They therefore got stuck into the beers and came up with a cunning plan – ‘celebrity lookie-likies’. They awarded themselves one point each for a lookalike spot, but an extra point if they could get that person to wave back at them. This cheered them up immensely, and they threw themselves into the game with gusto.

“Frank Butcher!” cried one of them as a portly, balding and bespectacled gentleman walked back to his seat. “Rickayyy…get off my car lot!” he added as the gentleman looked up nervously. The beered-up celebrity spotter waved enthusiastically and was delighted to receive a tentative wave back. “Two points!” he screeched – almost spilling his beer in delight – before being upstaged by one of his companions, who had spotted a ruddy cheeked ginger lad a few rows below them.

“Prince Harry! Your Royal Highness!” came the cry – accompanied by an exaggerated bow – as the lad’s cheeks burned even brighter. He turned and waved (rather limply for a royal, I thought) but that was enough for a two pointer and the game was on.

During the Notts v Somerset semi-final, our stand was transformed into the pages of Hello! magazine with Kylie Minogue, George Clooney, Noel Edmonds, Billy Connolly and the bloke from the Go Compare adverts all spotted, although shouting ‘Cleo Laine! Give us a doo-be-doo-be-doo!” at Ryan Sidebottom failed to get the wave required for the extra point.

The irony was that the two actors who play the Weasley twins in the Harry Potter movies were sitting fewer than ten seats away from them and weren’t spotted once. Not sure if this is a reflection on the increasingly blurred eyesight of the Essex fans or an indication of the celebrity status of the Hogwarts pupils.

Send your match reports to and on no account mention the cricket itself.

The mascot race on Twenty20 finals day 2010

Do you think he's okay?

We missed Twenty20 finals day this year. We’ve read loads of reports, but we haven’t found the most important piece of information.

Who won the mascot race? How did Lanky do?

County Championship leaders engage in not-so-titanic struggle

With first playing second in the County Championship, it’s a good time for a brief update on the state of the tournament.

Nottinghamshire have been the best side this year. They’re second with a game in hand on Yorkshire, who they’re currently battering. This season Yorkshire have been reliant on the season’s top-scorer, Adam Lyth, who got a duck yesterday and the season’s top wicket-taker, Adil Rashid, who currently has 1-104.

Nottinghamshire haven’t really relied on anyone. They’ve all played well. Their top scorer has actually been Chris Read, who makes runs every year and is somehow still considered a bad batsman.

In this match, David Hussey is on 250 not out. That’s more than handy when your opponents have been bowled out for 178.

In other news, we’ve got a week’s worth of post to open, but show no signs of doing anything with it. This habit of ours annoys some people.

Sajid Mahmood batting at five?

Sajid Mahmood will tell his kids he once batted at number five - they won't believe himYes, it did happen and he wasn’t a nightwatchman because it was a Twenty20 match – the quarter-final against Essex.

It makes a kind of sense. Sajid Mahmood’s been batting surprisingly well for Lancashire this season, hitting four fifties in his 10 first-class innings and scoring at quite a lick. He made 34 off 17 balls.

It’s still as weird as our work colleague who says things like: “You know that shop that’s an H and then an ‘and’ and then an M?” though.

Stephen Moore has a duff day

  • Losing a match is bad
  • Being out LBW is bad
  • Being out first ball is bad
  • Being out first ball of the innings is bad
  • Dislocating your shoulder in the outfield is bad

At least Stephen Moore can console himself with the fact that he’s not Giles Clarke.

The Twenty20 Cup is about to get good

Not that appealing

We just thought we’d warn you all about this fact, because chances are you lost interest in the Twenty20 Cup about a month ago.

After 10,000 mostly pointless matches, we’ve managed to trim 18 teams down to eight. However, there are four matches today and tomorrow we will be down to four teams. That’s actual progress. That’s an actual sporting competition where you play for a reason rather than purely to pass the time.

Imagine going out for a meal and your starter is an absolutely massive plate of dry pastry. There’s filo, puff, shortcrust and suet, but it’s still all pastry and it’s impossible to get through. Quite quickly, you give up and go to the toilet to throw up. What a rubbish restaurant.

You sit in the restaurant for about a fortnight, occasionally having a nibble of pastry and lamenting the fact that you’ve developed scurvy, when suddenly the waiter comes over and he’s got all this great food. Where did that come from? The waiter then says you’ve got 20 minutes to eat it.

Less pastry next year please.

A worrying Rob Key development

Thanks to Bradders for pointing us towards this:

Don't point that thing at us

But also not thanks. Pretending things are guns is never cool. Somebody will have told him to do it, but that doesn’t matter. Rob could have gone for bat-as-guitar or bat-as-snooker-cue even. Both would have been better than bat-as-gun.

There’s the sunglasses too. It’s all bad. We feel very disappointed today and we don’t quite know where we go from here.

We’re also wondering whether to move the ‘Rob Key’ child category out of the ‘England’ parent category and back into the ‘county cricket’ one. This really is a low moment.

They’ve wedged in some County Championship fixtures

Shit! They’re playing County Championship matches. How did that happen?

We’d checked the fixture lists and had therefore been slacking off because it’s only the Twenty20 Cup and we can’t really be arsed with that until they’ve finished the crappy group stages. But knock our chicken and chorizo sandwich to the floor and call us mildly exasperated and a tad disappointed if they haven’t shoe-horned in a solitary four-day match slap-bang in the middle of it all.

If there’s one lesson we should have learnt by now, it’s to never think we know what form of cricket the counties are likely to be playing on any given day.

The Point at Old Trafford Cricket Ground

What do you make of The Point?

We think it looks like an old-fashioned fan heater – only red. A friend of ours thinks it looks like someone’s knocked over a toaster – only red.

It’s not bad. Some cricket folk are getting a bit carried away with what it looks like. Aesthetics matter, but the real point (sorry) of this structure is that will bring in millions of pounds.

Those millions of pounds can be put towards tarting up Old Trafford’s ageing shab and will help ensure that international cricket can continue in the North-West.

That’s what we care about. Many people go to a Test match primarily as some sort of social occasion. For them, the ambience and surroundings are more important than what happens on the field. They’re dicks.

Stephen Moore and Sajid Mahmood

A man with ambitions to play for Lancashire's second XIDurham aren’t the only team who are currently muddling by with about one and a half batsmen. Lancashire’s current mediocrity is largely due to a batting order that starts at six with Steven Croft and ends at seven with Glen Chapple.

Actually, that’s not fair. Sajid Mahmood has been playing a blinder at number nine. He may have only scored 273 runs to proper batsman Stephen Moore‘s 277, but he has had three fewer innings and his season average of 34 pisses on Moore’s 25. Mahmood’s four fifties piss on Moore’s two as well. And he scores faster.

Stephen Moore’s only been at Lancashire for a few matches, but we already know we’re not going to warm to him. Why? Because he’s employed a PR agency to send out press releases pushing his England claims every time he manages to wipe his arse without injuring himself.

New rule: If you’ve got international ambitions, shut up about them if your batting’s absolute dog-toss.

Here’s some more about Lancashire’s batting that still rings true even though we wrote it a couple of years ago.

Older posts Newer posts

© 2017 King Cricket

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑