A right royal stand off – a 2022 England v New Zealand match report

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Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk. We’re only really interested in your own experience, so if it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. (But if it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.)

Regular King Cricket contributor Ged Ladd writes…

Daisy had especially enjoyed the relaxed vibe of our Sunday at the India Test in the “crowds but not full crowds” pandemic summer of 2021.

“Can we sit in the same place again?” she asked, ahead of the Platty Joobs Test.

The Lower Tavern Stand – the least fashionable members and friends area.

I made a beeline for that place on arrival. Despite a plethora of reservations in that area, I found the same seats as we had used the previous year, unreserved. We grabbed those.

“This isn’t the stand we sat in last year,” said Daisy. “The one we sat in last year was much smaller”.

“It was less densely populated,” I said. “Not only is this the same stand, I think these are the exact same seats.”

Daisy protested.

I tried using evidence to prove my point – in particular a double-selfie of me and Daisy in the same spot the previous year.

The evidence was pretty convincing to those sitting around us, who were starting to take an interest in our debate. Daisy mumbled about deep fakes and other unspecified uncertainties.

On the way home, Daisy said she’d had a lovely day and commented on the relatively relaxed vibe in the Lower Tavern Stand… just as she had done the previous year.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Top selfie action, Ged. Does Daisy know her image is being circulated on the world wide web?

    In other news, it’s Rob Key’s birthday today. Speaking of pictures, I wonder if anyone knows of a suitable image of the great man with which to celebrate?

  2. Thanks for your kind words, Sam.

    Strangely, I was writing an e-mail to a friend on the subject of granting permission for pieces to be published and the long intervals, sometimes, between writing/granting and eventual publication. I wanted to show, as an example, one of my pieces on this site., only to discover that this piece, from nearly a year ago, had just gone up.

    Daisy is not averse to her image being splashed on the internet in this way.

    Here, for those who don’t mind reports that break the KC rules, is my hurriedly upped piece about that match – Daisy and I actually attended on two days of the Platty Joobs test:


    1. I’m sure my e-mail correspondent, Alastair, wouldn’t mind me replicating his comment to me after I sent him a link to this page:

      “PS I liked your King Cricket piece: but most of all I like the ‘animals conspicuously ignoring cricket’ section: esp the pigeon on the rail at Lord’s staring at the crowd with its back to the activity on the square…delighted also to hear about the fox on the square: they have a hard time round here – Warwickshire Hunt country. I’m in the Oscar Wilde camp obvs. “

  3. Private message for Daisy follows. Not for Ged at all. Ged, please look away,

    [Daisy – he’s gaslighting you – look, behind, the ads are different – and you’re wearing different earrings – must be fake – amateur photoshop job, I’d say – probably even a different ground – get out while you can – good luck!]

    Ged, you can look now.

  4. Kind words, Chuck, but on this occasion it was a fair cop. Ged had me bang to rights.

    I can assure you that Ged is not standing over my shoulder while I type this, dictating my every keystroke.

  5. All together now…

    ‘We are top of the league, say we are top of the league, mathematically, until Surrey win, depending on bonus points…’

    1. I’m still trying to comprehend the concept of being undefeated after 5 games.

      Although Leics are at least maintaining some normalcy by not winning and being distinctly second best most of the time.

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