All England’s rubbish batsmen make runs while their good ones don’t

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Alastair Cook shows Western Australia how it’s done

A lesson here in the allocation of runs, surely. In England’s opening match against a Western Australia XI, Joe Root wisely restricted himself to nine, while that master of Australian conditions, Alastair Cook, hung around for all of two balls. Everyone else frittered away runs, meaning they are no longer “due”.

Mark Stoneman, James Vince, Dawid Malan and Gary Ballance all made fifties. Jonny Bairstow and Chris Woakes surged into double figures and remain undefeated with ne’er a thought for the Tests to come.

At least Moeen Ali has saved some runs through injury. At least we can cling to that.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. “Cook”, verb, to prepare food by a range of methods, from flash frying, done in three minutes, to fritters and the more common slow pressure method that goes on for hours and produces a satisfying result.

  2. Cook and Root wisely saved their runs for the Tests, while Vince and Stoneman hit the ground running with good innings. This series will be a doddle.

    Alternatively, it’s worrying signs as the two senior batsmen appear hopelessly out of nick, while the others have foolishly peaked too early. We’re scuppered.

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