Ethereal watercolours and skittering Mekons

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There was a bit more fast-medium today, or maybe we finally dropped to medium-fast. Either way, it was all a bit ethereal. There’s a point in every massive innings where everyone in the field’s just resigned themselves to things. It’s usually about 430. After that, you get a watercolour painting of cricket – wishy-washy and of no real consequence.

Declarations change the vibe considerably. Everything sharpens. You go from each run being a mere 500th of the total where wickets are of no real consequence to a situation where every run feels vital and a wicket is effectively five per cent of the rest of the Test match.

Each of England’s pace bowlers got through 30-odd overs. Somehow only five overs out of 146 were bowled by part-timers. Joe Root bowled four overs on a pitch where the main spinner took five of seven wickets to fall. The next Test starts on Friday.

For his part, Nathan Lyon was good and fresh after being deemed surplus to requirements for the first two Tests. Skittering in with his big Mekon head, he created chances, even if we didn’t see a right lot of Jeff. We saw a nightwatchman though. Not sure why.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Strange that Root didn’t bowl more.

    Ian Bell used to be a part time bowler. He even has a Test match wicket. It was a dubious caught and bowled.

    I can tell you one thing – he still bowls on International Cricket Captain. Sometimes he can get through a full ten overs of a 50 over match.

  2. Deliberately “contre Inverdale”, your comments on Nathan Lyons’ appearance, KC?

    And as for your ethereal watercolours, are they impressionist, post-impressionist or some other school completely?

    Your followers need more detail and clarity to understand you this weekend.

    You haven’t been ingesting the funny fungus again, KC, have you?

    1. I don’t get that. Is this another one of those things where everyone knows what it means except me?

      I hate you all.

    2. Just google the phrase “remember what the dormouse said” or even “Remember what the doormouse said” for that matter and all should become clear to you Sam.

      I suspect you are not the only person around here who cannot quite place the phrase.

      Don’t get upset.

      And don’t hate.

    3. I googled it and stared at the results and I still don’t get it.

      I need a lie down.

      Come on England.

  3. Forgive me if the question stretches the site ethos somewhat, but where will be the best place to park for OT tommorow?

    1. This is probably too late, but the best place to park is one of the side streets off Kings Road (where Morrissey used to live) and then walk over the tramline to the ground.

  4. Good test match this. Every time England seem moderately safe, they lose another wicket.

    All results still possible, owing to the state of the series. An England win comes from us adding another 100 tomorrow morning, so being 130 or so behind. If there are only four sessions left in the match due to the weather, as in the forecast, Clarke will be forced to declare with two of those sessions left. That will only be a lead of 200 or so, within the achievable range. Not tremendously likely, I know, but not as daft as it might seem. If it does happen, it will be another arse-clencher.

  5. Wishful thinking Bert. No way would Clarke declare and leave England 200 to win in two sessions to go 3-0 up. Particularly not on a pitch as flat as this. He would rather take his chances on trying to draw the series.

    1. We’ll lose three wickets within the first hour tomorrow, then be asked to follow on.

      Said following-on will be ballsed up as much as today was, and we’ll end up setting a target of about 50.


    2. On the plus side, maybe they’ll finally be able to drop Jonny ‘Dead Weight’ Bairstow.

  6. Meanwhile, never mind the magic mushrooms, we might be in for a real treat of magic Onions at Chester-le-Street in just a few days’ time. Word on “le street” is that he is bowling some truly special stuff again.

    1. If there isn’t a Durham CCC magazine called ‘Word On Le Street’, there should be.

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