How to react to a Johnsonning

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< 1 minute read

It’s not just England then. South Africa have been forcefully Johnsonned and are probably already considering reverting to a more conservative team for the second Test. Five bowlers is great when you’re top of the world and full of confidence, but let’s just see what happens now that they’re rattled.

But bring in a batsman and it’s over. The problem for South Africa wasn’t the sixth wicket partnership, it was that they were 43-4. Even Australia aren’t happy with that kind of batting score – and they’ve been winning from that position.

Vehement letter-C denier, AB de Villiers, has been the only man to show resistance thus far. He may have averaged almost 80 in 2013, but for how much longer is he going to keep wicket? We can’t see it lasting. Not sure why. We just can’t.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. I thought cricket was a team game. Nothing like excluding abnormal performance to get which team is better on average. Sigh.

  2. The verb “to johnson” or the noun, a “johnsonning”, should be reserved to describe the activity/type of activity meted out by Jeff Thompson upon David Lloyd.

    By that standard, the Saffers haven’t been johnsonned. They’ve merely suffered from a mild mitch.

  3. AB De V will soon take over as SA captain. The gloriously-named Quinton de Koch will come in as keeper.

  4. Johnson’s bouncer has always been his most accurate ball. SA could still save this though. Great at going for a bore draw.

  5. Surely the correct response to a Johnsonning is to wait until every is back home then unilaterally sack your number 4 batsman.

    Maybe they could recall Kallis and then summarily sack him for no discernable reason.

  6. Are South Africa about to do an England in more ways than one?

    Smith is creaking, both Petersens are a bit rubbish, Duminy was last relevent in about 2010, Kallis has gone. Even Steyn only looks “a bit scary” rather than “Oh my God, he’s starting his run up again”.

    1. Maybe Steyn needs a mo of his own? Nah, he’d look bloody weird with that. At least Johnson has that Viva Zapata thing going.

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