India v South Africa at Eden Gardens – match report

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D Charlton writes:

When myself and the soon-to-be Mrs D Charlton were enjoying a holiday in South-East Asia, I realised that it was the India-South Africa second Test at Eden Gardens. So, I decided to try and find the score.

I’ve had previous trouble finding the score in Italy and Lapland, so this time I came prepared. I brought my iPhone.

I took a second away from finding spiritual enlightenment at Wat Phra Kaew in Bangkok, fired up the iPhone, and waited. It was then I saw the sign.


So I was being ware and I realised that my most valuable possession was my iPhone – and the temple was warning me away from its dangerously ambiguous scorecard. I did the only prudent thing in the face of such ancient, religious advice and ignored the iPhone.

Outside the temple, I still didn’t know the score. I thought I best ask someone. This one chap, in a smart cap, came past and asked if he could help. I told him I was looking for the score of the India-South Africa second Test at Eden Gardens.

He said, in perfect English, that his cousin was at the ground. He’d give him a ring and ask. He picked up the phone and started talking. It all seemed too perfect. And it was then I saw the sign behind him (that’s him on the left).

A potentially wily stranger

I made my excuses and left.

Later, bereft of any information, I realised that either South Africa or India or cricket was the winner. So, now in Vientiane in Laos, I decided to go to a victory monument – in honour of this great win. Here it is:

Okay for those who've had a victory in life

If King Cricket had a victory monument, we all agreed, it would look much like this, and the King would commission a helpful description underneath – much like this:

Monsters of concrete 2010

I also asked this Laotian pig what the score was. He didn’t seem too bothered and continued to look for roots to chew on. I have a feeling we may have chewed on him later.

Relatively indifferent

Finally, back in Thailand, I had run out of ideas as to where to find the score. And then, as if by magic, I saw another sign and I knew which website I had to visit:

We've actually got a bit of a cough at the minute

Send your match reports to and on no account mention the cricket itself.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Okay I’m not sure I can ever submit a match report again that one was just so fantastic…. I feel like I was right there.

  2. You did very well to reject the iPhone, D. I’ve also found that new-fangled technology takes away the fun and frustration of finding the cricket scores, which is 78% of the enjoyment of not watching a test match.

    It’s especially true when England are playing. I use a scale of expectations for worst-average-best when I am away from a source of information, set at 30/2 – 50/1 – 70/0 for each hour. So if England are batting, and I’ve been away for three hours play, I figure that the worst case scenario is that we’ve lost six more wickets and added only 90 runs. When I subsequently find that we’ve added 110 for 4 in that time, I am pleasantly surprised, and can go about my day with a spring in my step. Instant info technology just takes all that happiness away.

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