Jackson Bird is not a 1970s American rock band

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We’re telling ourself this as much as anyone else. It’s the first thing we think whenever we see his name. Maybe stating the thought in a post title will finally purge it, allowing us to concentrate on other things.

We’re guessing that Jackson Bird is going to play the fourth Test. After James Pattinson and Mitchell Starc have revealed themselves to be good but inferior to sliced bread, Bird is the latest young Aussie quick bowler to be hyped up. He’s played a couple of Tests and has taken 11 wickets, but his first-class record is striking – 107 wickets at 19.99.

Is that average due to the fact that he’s been bowling to batsmen who are inferior to Phil Hughes and Steve Smith or is there something there? Chester-le-Street will give us a chance to have a bit more of a look at him. We will then make no firm conclusions either way, regardless of what he does. That’s the way we roll.


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  1. No Onions. Disappointing. Lack of flexibility from England. Lots of cricket coming up. Don’t be surprised if Anderson or Broad break down before January.

    Should have bowled first too.

    Grumble grumble grumble.

    1. When you win the toss – bat. If you are in doubt, think about it – then bat. If you have very big doubts, consult a colleague – then bat.

    2. Over the last 20 years (so I’ve been reliably informed by an Aussie who really seems to know his stats), more teams have won bowling first than batting first.

    3. 2093 matches.

      Team batting first has won 696 times
      Team fielding first has won 675 times.
      2 ties, 719 draws.


      However, if you look at results when you win the toss:

      Teams that win the toss and bat win 1.1 games for every one they lose
      Teams that win the toss and bowl win 1.15 games for every one they lose

      Teams that win the toss win 1.11 games for every one they lose
      Teams that lose the toss win 0.89 games for every one they lose

      So winning the toss is more important than the decision you make, clearly.

    4. Surely the key here is that when a team decides to bowl first, it is because they are very confident it will give them an advantage. After all, batting first is the default decision.

  2. All this talk of resting players is a bit premature when the series isn’t yet won. Rest Anderson once the job is done, I say.

    As for Broad, he needs wickets, and you can’t take wickets if you’re not playing.

    1. The cricketers-as-bands thing might have been derailed early on through having the high water mark appear first.

    2. Do they have floodlights at The Riverside? I mean, is there an electric light o’er Chester (le Street).

      Yep, I see what you mean about the sharp decline in quality.

    3. Will Jefferson Airplane.
      My Bloody Alf Valentine.
      The Black Robert Keys
      The Black Jo Angels
      Counting Martin Crowes.

    4. StereoFinnics



      Asian Doug Bollinger Foundation

      Pietersen, Paul and Mary

    1. Not sure. Don’t think so. The web of associations is too complex. We’ve been trying to work it out, but keep getting confused when we find ourselves at Buffalo Springfield.

    1. Ok, now we can all cry.

      Let’s ignore it and go back to cricketers as bands.


      Will Jefferson Airplane

      The Boontown Rats

      Sigur Ross Taylor

      Tait That

    1. Bit annoyed that it’s been four minutes and no-one’s congratulated us on that yet.

    2. At The Clive Lloyd-In

      Atoms for Breese

      Luke Wright Eyes

      Emburey The Great

      Manic Street Pritchards

      The Woakes / The Stokes/ The Foakes

      Umpire Weekend

    3. Nineties mix:

      (Steve) James

      House of (Tim) Paine

      Derek Underworld

      Ash(ley Giles)

    4. The Geoff Miller Band

      Graham Scooch

      Peter HouseMartins

      Tanita TikAkram

      Destiny’s Childs

      Rice Girls


      Cliff Richard Dawson

      Right Said Freddie

    5. The Brian Johnston Massacre

      And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Fred



      Andy Flowers Pops

      And some song/album titles:

      Never Mind The Pollocks

      Taibu Me Kangaroo Down, Sport

      A Hard Day’s Nick Knight

      Aladdin Hussain

      Kepler Wessels’ Lonely Hearts Club Band

      What’s The Story, Morning Rory Hamilton-Brown

    6. Ray Bright of the Conchords

      Chris Lewis and the News

      The Mighty Gooch

      Nick Cave and the Chris Reads

    1. …by which I mean the tortured puns, but also the horrible batting from England.

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