Michael Clarke can give it a rest now

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No-one's impressed, you know

Okay, we get it – you’re amazing at batting. It’s getting a bit old now.

This wasn’t Michael Clarke’s first double hundred of the year. It wasn’t even his first double hundred of the year in Adelaide; it was his second, and he has four of the buggers in total. One of them was a triple. That’s… weird.

Clarke has often looked a fantastic batsman, but there’s quite a big gap between playing some very good innings and the brutal efficiency he seems to be favouring of late. It’s like he passed 200 in Sydney, back in January and went: “What? I’m allowed to carry on? I never knew!”

Since then, he’s mostly been batting… mostly.

Most Australians really, really hated Clarke when he was made captain. Little did they know that authority would give him special powers.

But is he really all that? He ain’t all that.

Okay, so maybe he’s hit a few double hundreds this year. But how well would he bat if he had to wear massive, cast iron clown shoes and remain on the first floor of a small branch of Marks and Spencer? Hmm? How well would he bat then? Bet he wouldn’t score too many double hundreds while he was shuffling through the cardigan section, would he?


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Well said KC. And it’s also worth considering that all he is doing is making Australia overly reliant on him. Take a look at their scorecard today – without Clarke there was nothing else.

    Alright, maybe there was Hussey as well. But he is 37 years old, and this has to be his last season in the test team.

    And OK, there was Warner who also got a ton. But he’s, er, too young to be able to do that many times or something.

    So by next summer Clarke will have run out of runs completely, Hussey will have retired, and Warner will have found girls & beer and lost interest in everything else. And if you look at Australia’s scorecard without them, they were 14 for 3, and you won’t win much with score like that. And given that Ponting still gets a place, it’s safe to assume that the next best batsmen in all of Australia is worse than Chris Martin.

  2. I have always been a fan of Micheal Clarke as early as I have started watching cricket matches.I really like his straight drives and handsome drives through the off-side.And unlike other test batsman today he can accelerate his innings whenever he thinks it’s time as it happened against South Africa.

  3. I thought he was going to be a dreadful captain, especially given he was struggling to keep his place in the side. Oops.

    Still, so long as they persevere with Mitchell Johnson all’s still good.

  4. I’m not sure why, but I thought you might like to know that last night I had a dream in which Sourav Ganguly did a (barely) ironic impression of a colonial overlord to the non-plussed coach of a Nigerian gymnastics team. I tried to stop him, I really did.

    1. That’s weird. I had a dream the night before last that Ed Cowan was trying to murder me in the street with a blunt axe. He also had a small sharp piece of wood that hurt a lot when he jabbed it in my chest. I managed to disarm him.

    2. Who knows? The fact of him playing a test match in Adelaide at the time of the reported incident is an alibi of sorts. On the other hand, it was definitely him – he had a beard and everything. To be on the safe side, best not approach him if he’s carrying an axe.

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