Mighty giants and flying badgers

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Twenty20 finals day was how the format should be. When it’s all professional, it’s rubbish. It’s best when it’s a complete shambles and no-one really knows what’s going on.

Lancashire got knocked out in the semi-final, but we didn’t mind because they got knocked out by Will Jefferson. Despite being 11 feet tall, Jefferson’s somehow been keeping a low profile of late. However, he was eye-catching in the super over, making full use of his gargantuan size to smite his enemies.

Jefferson’s ancestor, Finn McCool, once tried to knock someone out by throwing the Isle of Man at them. Jefferson used the same degree of force to launch a cricket ball into the stands. Then he roared.

The final was most notable for the moment when a middle-aged man dived to catch Kieron Pollard. Paul ‘the Badger’ Nixon is a true great of county cricket and few would begrudge him success in his final match. Actually, quite a few people he’s played against would begrudge him success, because he is perhaps the most joyously irritating wicketkeeper there’s ever been, but that’s why we love him.

Finals day also featured an extraordinary number of rain delays and David Lloyd repeatedly doing what must rank as the worst impression of Boycey from Only Fools and Horses of all time. What more could you want from cricket’s most brilliantly stupid format?


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Apropos of nothing, Josh Cobb’s dad used to try to coach me, to no great success. First time he turned up we were a bit narked because it was meant to be Tim Boon.

    I wish Leicestershire were better at the proper stuff instead of T20, but beggars can’t be choosers, I guess. They should make the most of it before James Taylor buggers off to Warks.

    1. I’ve changed my mind. This picture is awful. I hope James Taylor goes on to achieve nothing else ever in his career, the miserable dwarfy Judas. Or, failing that, he gets a central contract and Notts get sod all benefit from poaching him, just like with that other arse, Stuart Broad.

      Personally, I don’t see the point in Leicestershire bothering to field a team at all any more. Bring on city-based franchise cricket to replace the county championship. The team I support is never going to be able to compete any more so they may as well not waste their time. I couldn’t give a rats arse about T20 and that’s seemingly all they care about.

  2. Well, hope this format catches on in England. Maybe, EP(C)L will destroy test cricket in your country 5 years hence? The rest of us have to live in hope, you know.

    1. We’ve had Twenty20 in England since 2003. We’re kind of over it now, to be honest.

  3. “Lancashire got knocked out in the semi-final, but we didn’t mind because…”

    …they are a shoo-in for the County Championship now, and England are the best test match team in the world, and Wigan won the Challenge Cup at the weekend, are champions, and will win the Grand Final again this year.

    My sporting hopes and dreams are coming true all at once. This is shaping up to be the best of years. If Man Utd could just go bust and be forced to sell their ground to Lancs for use as a match day car park, my whole world will be complete.

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