One of Australia’s bowlers can kind of bat

Posted by
< 1 minute read

That’s the big news for the Australians today. Moises Henriques might well turn into the next Jacques Kallis or the next Imran Khan, but at present there’s a vague scent of bits and the distinct whiff of pieces in the air.

Henriques is one of the better Test players born in Portugal. Indeed, we could argue that he has already outperformed Dick Westcott in order to be considered the absolute best. However, he has made one first-class hundred in his career and is yet to bowl at Test level. We’re not quite sure what he brings to the team, other than a bit of a breather for Shane Watson.

From India’s perspective, R Ashwin put Australia on the ropes and then invited someone – anyone – to land the killer blow. His team-mates then just sort of shuffled about, looking at their feet before Ravindra Jadeja mustered an effete slap via another non-spinning clean-bowled. If anyone can deduce precisely what it is that persuades batsmen to play for the turn against him, please let us know.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


    1. If they wanted someone who could be castled after making 42, why didn’t they revert to Steve Smith?

  1. Does anyone know how to pronounce “Moises”? I assume it’s like Moses in a comedy New York Jewish accent.

    Also, DRS 1 – BCCI 0. The additional 64 runs Clarke has scored since the DRS would have given him out could be important, the 100 more he might get tomorrow more so. I suppose Clarke could have walked, but he might not have noticed the edge due to his hands having gone numb from the impact.

    1. He couldn’t possibly have felt the edge with the ball having struck the middle of the bat.

      And regarding Moises – it didn’t occur to us it could be pronounced in any other way.

    2. It’s a cat name, isn’t it? Every time I see it I just picture the face of a cat. A slightly older cat, with lots of whiskers and a bit of an attitude.

    3. There’s what Daneel says below. The alternative I had in mind was MWAHZ, as if it were French (to rhyme with Framboises).

      Mwahz Hen-ree-kway.

    4. Now ‘ere’s Mwahz Onreek, up to ze stump now and ‘e bowlz et zat one iz zmashed oeuvre meedweekit pour quatre. Magnifique batting from Les Anglais aujourd’hui. Seize cent soixante quatre pour un. Ah blow mah noze at you, so called Michelle Clarke. Your muhzer was a ‘amster and your fahzer smelled of elderberreez.

      I assume that most cricket commentators come here first for pronunciation advice, so it’s best to give them the whole thing.

    5. Un comte comptant ses comptes, content de son comté, raconte un conte, d’un comte con comptant des comptes mécontents, en contant un conte contant un comte con mécontent se contentant d’un compte con en mangeant son comté.

  2. Henriques doesn’t have very impressive FC stats because he was promoted to the NSW team too early and got thrown around the batting order too much. Has started to blossom of late.

  3. I’d say he has a reasonable shot at being the next Craig White but there’s no way he’s in Craig White’s class as a bowler, is there? He’s military medium.

    1. If there’s one thing we love, it’s note-perfect damnation through faint praise.

      The key here is that we did rate Craig White’s bowling, so the statement makes perfect sense.

    2. It’s years overdue. Steve Waugh had a few years to be shaped by international cricket whilst Henriques has been shaped by domestic cricket.
      Who knows what we will end up with now?
      He’s a more than handy bowler who manged to smack Cam White in the jaw and knock him down with one of the best short balls I’ve ever seen. He is a change up bowler in the style of a young Steve Waugh. Hopefully his back will hold.

  4. I’ve seen Henriques a few times in the shorter form. He’s a decent bat and bowls line and length well. A decent replacement for Watson who’s always injured! His big test will come in the Ashes. Him, Bird, Starc, Pattinson and Cummings (if injury free) are looking good for the Ashes!!

Comments are closed.