South Africa chose to bat

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< 1 minute read

That was where everything went wrong. They hauled it back a bit by batting okay, but really the match was decided when Faf du Plessis scorned the coin’s generosity. Why would you ask Virat Kohli to chase? It’s like asking Mike Gatting to guard your cupcakes from scavengers.

This leaves us with an India v Sri Lanka final. As usual.

DON'T BE LIKE GATT!

Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.

Coincidence?

Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?

16 comments

    1. Ged
      Has missed something
      Deep Cower doesn’t give a shit about rhyme
      But he’ll make an exception this time.

  1. Would be nice to have a bit of women’s cricket coverage around here now and again.

    Or, as Charles Colvile insists on calling them, “the girls”.

  2. charles colville
    made some cricket fans slightly ill
    with his persistent use of a rather outdated and notionally dismissive term
    to refer to that proportion of the population which is biologically incapable of producing sperm

    (oops. that beer may have gone to my head)

    (actually it’s not necessarily such a terrible thing… in principle. don’t people often refer to men’s teams as “the boys” or “the lads”? it just sounds worse when women are up for discussion)

  3. … and yeah, asking india to chase when kohli was on the teasmsheet was just kamikaze wasn’t it. didn’t they do their homework ffs?

  4. oops… bridge too far for “les filles” alors

    quick perusal of the final scorecard suggests they may not yet have enough firepower for this format..? no sixes in the whole innings (indeed one comment on the bbc suggestsed they hadn’t managed to hit one throughout the entire tournament)

    on the plus side, everyone’s favourite wholesome sportsgirl-next-door ellyse perry had another good game (including a six. if she can do it..?)

  5. yes, i know ms ferling. thank daisy for the tip, but i have my own mrs to order me around 😉

  6. Kumar Sangakara’s
    Metaphorical mascara
    Ran, as he failed to hold back tears aplenty
    On retiring from the format at yesterday’s glorious climax of the World T20.

  7. Yuvraj Singh’s home
    Bore a few stones
    From twats who felt hard done
    By 11 off 21.

  8. Sleazed in a haiku there, wolf, don’t imagine these things go unnoticed.

    Well done…

    …except…

    …a syllabub short on the middle line, to my eye, unless the word league is meant to be read leeg-way.

    1. Uh…. yes… that’s exactly how it was meant to be read.

      fingers type in haste
      brain idling away not used
      makes profound regret

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