Martin van Jaarsveld - no, it isn't a kind of cheeseNot literally under his captain. That would be painful, even allowing for Rob Key’s new, racing snake physique.

Against Surrey, Martin van Jaarsveld hit two unbeaten hundreds and took 5-33, even though he’d never taken more than two wickets in an innings before.

When asked what precipitated this rare spell of form, he responded:

“I’ve been having trouble with my backlift of late. I was trying to iron things out in the nets when Rob came past, mumbling. I think it was some sort of incantation because there was a sudden, blinding light and the next thing I know I’m in the physio’s room and my lunch money’s gone.

“Pretty much the same thing happened the next day and the day after that. By the first day of the Surrey match I was feeling a bit light-headed with having missed the majority of my meals, but there was a calmness in my delirium and everything just clicked.”

Van Jaarsveld then added: “The bowling was a fluke though.”