The greatest post of all time

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< 1 minute read

Oh dear Lord!

You should all thank SimonC for this in the comments.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. That was truly wonderful. Thank you Simon C, and thank you, O King, for bringing this into my life.

  2. That’s fucking brilliant. You lucky bugger, I had all sorts of regicide planned for you, if it was shit.

  3. Suave, do you just hang around this site so you get to use your second favourite word as often as possible?

  4. SimonC – you are a genius – and O king – you are his Archduke Rudolf. Utterly fab. The regal wave! The trotting hooves! The noble and discreet kicks to the flanks!

  5. I, like many, feared you had given it too much of a build up.

    If anything, you were too restrained.

    Just a pity he won’t play today.

  6. I didn’t realise that the internet had enough computing power for something so complex.

  7. It is now my background.
    It will be a bitter disappointment If he doesn’t at least bring on the drinks this evening in this majestic manner.
    Marvellous work SimonC, marvellous.

  8. Fat blokes like Samit Patel can look up to the Key God. Here is living chubby proof that the fat shall indeed get on the world stage if only as drinks boy and general KP fag!

  9. Utterly marvellous – thank you Simon C and KC! I just hope he rides back in to the St Lawrence Ground thus.

    And crikey at Suave’s news…… *gulp*

  10. He’s definitely playing!!!!

    *has complete faith he will do well………….*

  11. Looks as though he’ll be playing at no. 3…

    Play starts in twenty minutes!!! (If it doesn’t rain)

    That is the most awesome post ever by the way.

  12. The BBC just made my day:

    “1735: The tournament is going to be officially opened by… the Duke of Kent. (That’s the real Duke of Kent, not Rob Key, you understand).”

  13. Why did Key bat so far down the order? Why did England bowl so badly?

    Why can’t I I tear my eyes away from the majesty of his Robness’ regal wave?

  14. The Guardian’s OBO got it spot on when they called Darron Reekers Rob Key’s dad, though.

  15. This is beautiful – I can’t look away!

    We were at today’s game and every time a batsman came in who wasn’t Rob Key , we got upset.

  16. Eldershot, imagine my face when I found my local MP had a cricket-playing namesake. For quite a while I couldn’t see the name “Rob Key” on a teamsheet without seeing a portly old man smashing sixes about the field…

    Well, I was half-right.

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