The REAL news about England’s selection announcement

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< 1 minute read

It's what server space was meant for - fresh pictures of Rob KeyAndrew Flintoff, Simon Jones, Darren Pattinson, Tim Bresnan. How bloody wide of the mark can the mainstream media get? Very. That’s how wide.

There’s the mark and…

…there… that’s where they are. Wide and perhaps a little bit low as well.

The real news is of course His inclusion in England’s provisional 30-man squad for The Champions’ Trophy.

Being as this squad will be cleft in twain on August the 11th, we’re not going to go properly mental just yet. But just to warn you, we’ve had something in our locker for ages now that’s so good it’ll make you sweat jam out of your pores.

If Rob Key makes the final 15-man squad, we will unleash it on the world.

We were going to wait until he got back in the Test squad before showing it, but attempting to stifle its iridescent brilliance for much longer might actually kill us. Cross your fingers.

Today categorising the blog post is a treat: ‘Rob Key’ and ‘England’.


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  1. How v v strange. At first glance of the pic I thought that was Lord Tweed of Strauss-Brockett, but then I spotted the Keysian rear – and realised my mistake. But is this a portent? Key to open for England? (Raspberry jam from my pores please o King, can’t be doing with this plum or damson stuff)

    Pattinson! Why not Shreck!!!!

  2. If I sweat jam out of my pores, I will be attacked by flies every time I go outside – that will be unpleasant, and may prevent me from watching His Robness single-handedly pound the living daylights out of every International record ever (not just the weight-based ones).

  3. If England had picked shreck as well Nottinghamshire would have had no bowlers at all.

    We would have been reduced to playing a bunch of 12 year olds.

  4. Hurrah for Bobby and indeed for Tredders! There will be no justice if Bobby isn’t retained.

    But why, oh why, is Joe Denly not included??? I wouldn’t expect him to make the cut to 15 at this stage but cannot believe he doesn’t deserve a place in a squad of 30.

    I think this calls for one of my most fierce PAH!s. So PAH! (with extra venom)

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