West Indies board sacks Phil Simmons, hires new coach and then immediately suspends him

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A statement from the West Indies Cricket Board reads:

“Phil Simmons has been an excellent servant of West Indies cricket, but the board feels it can no longer tolerate his continued desire to field the strongest team possible in one-day internationals. As such, his contract has been terminated with immediate effect.

“A replacement coach has already been employed, but his identity will not be revealed at this juncture due to an ongoing disciplinary matter. The new coach is currently suspended from active duty due to an ill-conceived notion that he would have the best West Indies players available to him.

“West Indies cricket has a long and proud tradition of underachievement and the board expects any new coach to buy into the principles of in-fighting, self-sabotage and short-sightedness on which this rich heritage has been built.”

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7 comments

  1. * This site isn’t a blog, KC often reminds us

    * KC hasn’t copied and pasted, he seems to have parodied

    * Even if he had cut and pasted, that certainly wouldn’t be a new low for this site. He’s stooped much lower than that and those of us who contribute occasional pieces and comments have stooped even lower.

  2. I’m going to stand up for Angry Bucket de Villiers, and suggest that he might have been joking.

  3. I just managed to pee for more than 21 seconds, that is the 1st time for ages but i’m very old,

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