Are the West Indies going to try and bounce the shit out of you? Wonder no more. Just consult this handy guide

Glenn Maxwell pulls up (via ICC video)

2019 Cricket World Cup, Game 10, Australia v West Indies

Are you a World Cup cricketer? Are you wondering whether the West Indies are going to bounce the shit out of you? Here’s an easy way to find out.

Question 1: Do you play for the West Indies?

  • Yes: If you stay out of the nets, the West Indies probably aren’t going to bounce the shit out of you.
  • No: The West Indies are definitely going to bounce the shit out of you, unless…

Question 2: Are you Mitchell Starc, Jofra Archer, Mark Wood, Jasprit Bumrah, Lockie Ferguson, Wahab Riaz or Kagiso Rabada?

  • Yes: There is an outside chance that the West Indies may not try and bounce the shit out of you, but you really shouldn’t count on it.
  • No, I am not one of those people: The West Indies are definitely going to try and bounce the shit out of you.

Two matches in, we’re all starting to get a bit of a feel for the West Indies’ bowling strategy at this World Cup.


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10 Appeals

  1. The general theme of this article gives me bad flashbacks to an incident on a trampoline with my then 2 year old son and a dirty nappy.

    • King Cricket

      June 7, 2019 at 6:48 am

      OH DEAR LORD NO!

    • The chances of further comment on this topic has been well and truly crapped out by your remark, Micko.

    • I think we need a full match report, please, Micko.

      • We really truly don’t.

      • I presume the Match Report would include a referal when someone gets shit on the pads.

      • Well you can hose down a trampoline, so wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but I really don’t think people want me going into the specifics.

      • King Cricket

        June 8, 2019 at 6:51 am

        “You can hose down a trampoline, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been,” seems like one of those snippets of conversation you overhear without hearing what led up to it and you can’t help but imagine terrible circumstances that in this case would be precisely correct.

  2. Was your son leaving the trampoline, but you insisted on calling him back?

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