Pakistan v West Indies at Mirpur | World Cup quarter final

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Australia coach, Tim Nielsen, has described Australia’s match against India as being a “mini-grand final”. We prefer the more traditional term ‘quarter final’ ourself.

But that match is on Thursday. Pakistan v West Indies is the first of seven one-day internationals that are actually worth watching. It’s the World Cup, people. 50-over matches that actually matter.

We really favour Pakistan for this one and quite fancy them overall, but if we’re honest, reason might be taking a bit of a back seat. Every time we look at their squad, we count up the number of batsmen and generally only get to three. There are a few guys whose names are compounds of parts of the names of past Pakistan batsmen though, so maybe these guys will score a few.

That said, the West Indies are similar and they haven’t even been picking Shiv. This selection policy is like not having enough sandwiches for a picnic and concluding that you’d be better off with multiple Bananaman costumes instead.

Bananaman costumes are great, but they are far from delicious and lack nutrients.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Have you considered making an on-line game where we can use random Pakistani first and second names (and the same for West Indian names) and see who quite by chance gets a team with some good cricketers in it?

    It might just knock that top trumps thing of yours off the top of the KC game charts.

  2. I imagine the following scenario to unfold:

    1. Team A bats. A wicket falls in the first over. A period of intense consolidation ensues, prompting the Indian crowd to throw bananas and babies born out of wedlock at the fielders.

    2. One of the batsmen is quite young, but has a “good head on his shoulders”. He gets a fifty. Ian Chappell has an orgasm. Mothers weep.

    3. The young batsman is tragically run-out. The subsequent batsmen from Team A summon their Kundalini chakras and disengage from the corporal world, thereby making them oblivious to such trifles as safeguarding their wickets. When they return from the ether, the scorecard reads 181/7.

    4. A period of intense consolidation follows. Ravi Shastri believes something is going to give.

    5. A modest total is achieved, thanks to the “bowler who can bat a bit”.

    6. Team B bats. Runs flow. The Team A captain looks either really pensive or really cool, depending on who he is.

    7. The murderer is out to a silly stroke. Robin Jackman is unhappy.

    8. One bowler comes in and “stems the flow”. Team B motors along at 2.36 an over.

    9. A batting powerplay mishap occurs around over 35.

    10. Following this, there is an intense competition between Teams A and B as to who plays more irresponsibly. But when everything seemed to point out they were well on top in this category, Team B end up winning.

    11. During the presentation ceremony, it is famously revealed by the winning captain that there are still unanswered questions.

    1. I predict the unanswered question will be “Why the hell is that keeper still in the team?”

  3. Where was your SPOILER ALERT, Deep Cower. You’ve ruined it for me.

    I was really looking forward to that match too.

  4. wow.. what a beating WI took!

    If India manage to beat Australia tomorrow.. they’ll play Pakistan.. doesn’t get harder than this.

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