Afghanistan are pillaging England’s tile improvements

England appear to have sold you a dummy. Just when you thought they might be transforming into some sort of competent modern T20 side, they conspire to lose three wickets in an over against Afghanistan. Masterful stuff.

The bowler was Mohammad Nabi, one of our ten World Cup players to watch. Different World Cup, but come on, we do this for free you know. If we came up with ten players for each and every World Cup, we wouldn’t have time to drink coffee and play Civilization.

Next time around, we’re going to play that game as the Afghanistan civilisation. Mohammad Nabi will be their leader. We will seek out the English and pillage their tile improvements. That is what is happening today.

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22 Appeals

  1. Absolute scenes.

  2. Fortunately Afghanistan is a poor country with a relatively small population, so has little possibility of producing serious commercial revenue.

    As a result, they aren’t good enough to be worth our time playing, so we don’t need to see this kind of thing very often.

  3. Anything that reduces our chances of losing to Australia is a good thing in my book.

    • Can we use your book to smack Ben Stokes in the face?

      Oh, hang on. Another wicket.

      Absolute scenes.

      • Which version of Civ are you playing? I got the ‘basic’ (ie no expansion packs) Civilisation 5 for free last year for filling in some sort of survey. It’s a time vacuum bested only by Football (aka Championship) Manager, and shares the distinction with said football management simulator of being the only computer game I’ve ever dreamt I was inside.

      • That shouldn’t really have been a reply to Sam, I was distracted by the absoluteness of the scenes.

      • Don’t worry, AP. I’m flattered. I don’t know what Civilisation is, so I can’t add much. Can I interest you in some memories of Mario Kart 64?

      • King Cricket

        March 23, 2016 at 10:51 am

        We’re sticking with IV for now. We can’t find the time to fill in a survey what with all the Civilization we’re playing.

      • RUNS. SUPER SIXERS. SEMI-COMPETITIVE TOTAL. The scenes have never been so absolute.

      • Prefer Colonisation myself. Always play the sneaky French. But I’m really only visiting the site for the comments underneath each story anyway.

      • Definitely Civ IV.

        5 is not worth it.

  4. There, there. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

    • (The bookies give England approx 60% chance of victory at the half-way stage, for what its worth.)

  5. How much would England have to bowl Afghanistan to avoid everyone taking the piss? 85?

  6. Shove it up yer arse. England are the best T20 side in the whole world.

    I can’t spake.

    • I can deal with this hubris, and writing them off during the latest dismal nadir; it’s the middle ground and false hope I hate most.

      • King Cricket

        March 23, 2016 at 11:53 am

        We all hate the middle ground. You need at least a handful of coastal cities from which to produce sea units.

  7. Never in doubt.

  8. Well that was fun.

    King, what do you think of Ajit Agarkar as a Cricinfo pundit? From reading your archives, you clearly didn’t think much of him as a cricketer.

    • King Cricket

      March 23, 2016 at 1:36 pm

      He had a magnificent ability to earn recalls despite being rubbish. Seems all right as a pundit. Decent sort. Dunno. Haven’t seen all that much really.

      • On the analysis I saw at lunchtime, Nick Knight appeared to suggest that 150 would have been a better score for England to attempt to get than 170-180. I kind of get what he’s saying, but still… sounds like tosh, IS tosh.

  9. Question has been asked; again and again; and will continue to be asked; again and again: “what is with England, ICC and associate nations?”

    Come to think of it, this triumvirate combo is as stable as a … three legged square table! Perhaps all it needs is the missing fourth leg. Then again, it wouldn’t be so much fun. Maybe.

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