New Zealand are punching their exact weight

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< 1 minute read

How many World Cup finals would New Zealand have to reach before people considered them ‘the team to beat’? We’d guess about forty. This is assuming they didn’t lose each of those finals to the same team because in that situation the team that beat them would obviously be the team to beat.

Maybe we’ve lost ourself in specifics there. Our point is that New Zealand are never favourites, even when they’re debagging opponents in a multitude of ways.

Respect has to be earned, you might argue. But ask the Associate Nations whether the cricket world pays a living wage in that regard. You can put in long, long hours trying to earn respect and then thanks to an act of god (or at least thanks to the cooling of moist air and resultant precipitation) you’ll find yourself pretty much back where you started. In cricket, respect runs through your fingers. You might get a few grains of it stuck to your skin if you’re particularly sweaty, but they’ll soon be gone.

Whatever their ‘brand of cricket’, New Zealand have a much darker, more permanent brand as outsiders in world competitions. Even though they’re winning all their games, you may still hear people refer to them as dark horses. Anyone who says they’re punching above their weight might like to consult the scales.


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  1. Doesn’t everybody metaphorically punch exactly at their metaphorical weight, if that weight has been accurately metaphorically measured?

    1. Metaphorical weights are never accurately measured. Something to do with the effects of gravity in Metaphorland.

      1. Are they not punching at their exact mass? Someone science-y please correct/corroborate me.

  2. I need some data to work out which bowler is being shipped for more than his ‘weight of runs’, metaphorical or otherwise, but I don’t want to be spoon-fed all of this information – I want to be told just the percentage of dot balls and percentage of ‘boundaries’ he’s bowled, and extrapolate any useful information from this myself. Also, don’t you dare tell me how many overs all of the bowlers used thus far in the innings have bowled – just runs and wickets will suffice for me. Thanks!

  3. 50-5 with spinners crawling over everyone. Comedy run outs. Comedy leaves. Adverts for an arranged marriage service for your daughter. This is the best cricket for a long time…

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