David Warner punching Joe Root – the real reason why it was such a despicable incident

David Warner - tool

They were in a Walkabout. Of all the pubs in Birmingham, David Warner and Joe Root opted to go to an Australian-themed bar which uses the slogan: “Home of the awesome spirit of Australia.”

This makes Warner look like a homesick child, desperately clinging to anything even faintly Antipodean, while Root has basically committed treason.

Regarding the confrontation, The Sydney Morning Herald says it featured a ‘glancing blow’ to Root’s chin. Sounds to us like Warner chinned Root and the wee man took it like a proper Yorkshireman.

Why did it happen? Well, that’s a matter for conjecture. Why not go on Twitter and read some hilarious jokes about bullying. Joe Root looks really young, you see.

Update: Apparently Root had been wearing a wig as a fake beard. Warner pulled it off before swinging, clearly believing that fake hair would entirely neuter his weedy blow. This may also shed light on the motive for the act: David Warner will not stand for inappropriate usage of a wig.

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29 Appeals

  1. Tim Abrahams off of Sky Sports says it happened at the hotel the teams were staying at. Still, hilarious scenes. No matter how bad things get for the Aussies, I will never feel sorry for them. Never forget the 1990s.

  2. Ladies and Gentlemen, the future Captain of Australia.

  3. Averaging 37 in tests, 21 in ODIs, and 11 in international T20s in the last 12 months, what this millionaire superstar batsman is mostly punching is well below his weight. Still a certain pick for the Aussies though. I suspect that the altercation followed mostly along these lines:

    “Hey Davey boy, have you been sent your copy of the Aussie A team schedule yet?”

  4. In other scandalous news, Ramiz Raja just used the phrase “he’s for for a DRS”.

    Ye gods.

  5. Sorry. That should be “he’s gone for a DRS”. Curse these metal hands.

  6. He’s a twunt.
    If he gets sent home at least it will narrow the number of openers we have to choose from down to 4.
    Thank goodness Inver stepped in to lay down the law or we would have had a second round of Ricky shooting his mouth off.

  7. We tried to go in that bar after the 2003 Rugby World Cup Final. Turned out lots of other people had the same hilarious idea. We ended up in the South African themed bar down the road and found Aussies in there instead.

    I used to have a coworker who had an evening job as a bouncer, the Walkabout was one of his bars. Can’t be too many combination software engineers/bouncers about…

    • I grew up in Birmingham. Broad Street, where the Walkabout is located, is notorious for being full of the worst kind of twunts, prinks and toss-holes.

      This story has done nothing to dispel that theory.

    • Yep, that street is a hole. Never liked going there. Give me Snobs or Eddie’s any day. But seriously…

      We went drinking in Solihull more often. You’d think it would be nicer but I’ve never seen as many drunk girl fights as I did there. I lived in Acock’s Green so I never went to any of my locals out of fear for my life.

    • Acocks Green! I lived there for 18 years. Went to Acocks Green Junior School and Ninestiles. Although I must take issue with your use of apostrophe. Was it named after a man called Acock? Not in my memory.

    • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acocks_Green

      It is named after the Acock family who built a large house in the area in 1370. Acocks Green is one of the four wards making up Yardley formal district. The place name is occasionally spelled “Acock’s Green” with an apostrophe, although nowadays “Acocks Green” is more usual.

    • Fair play.

      I haven’t been back for about five years since my family moved to Kings Heath.

      Or should that be King’s Heath?

  8. So one cricketer punches another in a bar, apologizes later and the other fellow accepts. Why in the world would you want him to ban him from a match for this? Didn’t happen on the field.

  9. The best bit about this whole story is that England saw fit to celebrate beating Australia in a Walkabout. I presume if they beat Ireland at some point, they will stroll into an O’Neils.

    Its like they have spied that the Aussies are not the brightest of bulbs, and are trying to engineer situations where there is optimum chance they will do something stupid. Maybe Trott did trip Wade up on purpose.

  10. Ahahahahahaha.

  11. Oh joy! There was a wig involved.

  12. Anyone fancy a game of ‘Allan Lamb or Kevin Keegan’?

    http://tinyurl.com/mm7joek

  13. I don’t think Warner has been banned because he punched at Joe Root.

    I think he has been banned because of his attrocious form.

    My evidence – I quote from Cricinfo:

    “The manager [of Walkabout] added he did not think Warner’s punch connected although it is understood that some contact was made.”

    In other words, David Warner currently cannot even properly connect with something as big and slow-moving as Joe Root’s head, even when using an implement as proximate to his own musculoskeletal system as his fist.

    On that basis, how could the geezer expect to hit a fast-moving cricket ball with a bat.

    Had Warner actually landed a full-bloodied punch on Root, the Aussies would be playing him today while lining up the PR excuses (false-hair-based provocation, Warner is a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks, Joe Root looks so very young it is sickening, precocious talent needs thumping sometimes)…

    • To be fair, Root does have the kind of face you’d want to punch. We’re all thinking it. Warner just took it one step further.

  14. To be honest, I don’t think this current Australian team have what it takes to win any major thing. The Ashes are going to be easier than a cakewalk for England. The Aussies don’t have the swagger they used to have — the batsmen they are producing in the Shield would struggle to get into an English side (and for Australian cricketers there can be no bigger insult). There’s nothing that excites me about the current crop of batsmen. Take out Michael Clarke and they are basically like the English batting lineup of the late 90s: players with mediocre ability promoted to represent their country because the selectors couldn’t find anyone else.

  15. Superb hover caption. Pithy, descriptive and says all you need to know.

  16. yes i liked that too – and indeed the perfectly-chosen pic which accompanied it

  17. I went in that walkabout after the Saturday in 2005.

    Price might have been with me. The day turned into a bit of a blur if I’m honest.

  18. So i guess seeing that Warner didnt break Root’s jaw and Clarke didnt break Anderson’s arm Trott thought he would help by having a break down all of his own

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