Speaking about the decision review system, Sanjay Jagdale, the secretary of the Board of Control for Cricket in India, indicated that his organisation was still unwilling to see it used in all Test matches.
“The BCCI continues to believe that the system is not foolproof.”
Jagdale may or may not have then been asked whether his organisation thought a speed limit should be imposed in residential areas. He may or may not have responded:
“We have looked into this, but despite extensive research, it has not been conclusively proven that speed limits prevent all fatal accidents. If thousands of children have to die after being hit by vehicles travelling at 70mph, so be it. That imperfect scenario is still infinitely preferable to a greatly improved but still imperfect scenario.”
When it was put to him that large numbers of fatal and near-fatal accidents would put enormous strain on emergency services, Jagdale might possibly have replied:
“In cases where medical attention would not lead to a full recovery, the victim should instead be left to die. No-one wants to be made 99 per cent better after sustaining a major injury. Far better to just stick with the status quo, even if that means palming yourself around on a board with wheels because you’ve got two broken legs.”
When we said that Sanjay Jagdale may or may not have said these things, we were being economical with the truth. He didn’t say them. We made them up.
Oh, wait, he did say the first one. That’s not satire. That’s his actual argument.