England hit the ground, not running, but with exceptional conservation of energy

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This World Cup’s a marathon not a sprint. The last thing you want to do is hit the ground running.

You want to hit the ground with a wet splat; look up; slowly get your bearings; and then start crawling in about a fortnight’s time. You want to reach a fat person’s jog this time next month and then you can really pick up the pace from there.

As such, England have made an excellent start. They’ve been bowled out by a Mitch – and not even by a decent Mitch, but by a rubbish medium-pace Mitch who’d taken all of six one-day international wickets before today. Maybe Srinivasan had a bet on.

They also made a mockery of our belief that Eoin Morgan should be batting at six instead of five. If the captain had been one place lower, he would have emerged precisely one ball later, so clearly it didn’t matter. Either way, after scoring just two runs in his last five innings, he is almost painfully due.

Australia have basically set off at a sprint. Momentum – that oh-so-valuable commodity – can only be lost.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. I’ve just checked your physics with Stephen Hawking, and it turns out that all of this is factually correct. And that’s not just anyone saying that. No, that’s someone who was at the baftas. Physics doesn’t get any more certain than when it’s been celebrity endorsed.

    Well done.

    1. I always find it most reassuring to learn that the laws of physics have been obeyed.

      Thanks for confirming, Bert.

  2. Off topic, but a lady near me, English by accent, Cheshire by jodhpurs, has just used the word “eateries”. This might be the influence of the French, of course, but I fear not.

    What kind of world are we living in? Will this madness never end!

    I’m having bacon and eggs, by the way, which is why I thought it appropriate for a cricket website.

    1. Not sure there’s such a thing as a bacon and egg ‘eatery’ really. Wrong end of the spectrum.

    2. If it is the French, surely it implies that eating is the business of the proprietors of the establishment. Why would anyone go to a place to watch someone eat? How is that a service to society?

    3. ‘Eateries’ is right up there with ‘monies’. As in ‘Anyone who wants to sign up for the company go-karting trip, I need your monies by Friday’.

    4. The best ‘eateries’ we have in the magical land of OZ are where you go for eggs and bacon. The rest are mere gourmet hang outs.
      Off topic, I note Warner is on track to make my wish come true i.e. scoring very few and keeping his big mouth closed.

  3. England haven’t got a clue. Taylor has been half decent and he gets dumped down the order to bring in ballance who hasn’t played much in a while. Batting has been poor and is an easy target but the bowling especially the last 10 overs has been shocking. Maybe we just aren’t very good?

  4. James the Elder is the first one to say eggs and bacon rather than bacon and eggs. I’m pretty sure i said eggs and bacon when i lived in UK but I live next door (almost) to daneel now and I say bacon and eggs as nearly all Americans do. i did a small Worldwide survey using Gallop and others – 1.9 million said bacon and eggs and only 920,000 said eggs and bacon. with most food it is obvious like fish and chips or bangers and mash but i did find several people who said jam and bread which i think is strange.

    I’ve been correct so far that Bopara won’t make make many runs in this competition

    1. All that money I have wasted on therapy when you had the answer all the time. I rank bacon as one of the great wonders of the world, right up there with the lack of collective IQ shown by our government and yet I have ranked it second to eggs!
      Still, it best to stand apart from the crowd.

  5. So, can we put James Taylor back up to three now? He was doing rather well there. He did rather well at six as well, but he will get the chance to do rather well for longer at three (or around the same amount of time, but with the shambolic procession of the rest of the batting order taking place after rather than before his arriving at the crease).

    And while we’re at it, I’m aware Bopara wasn’t in great nick, but ironically he brings more balance to the side than Ballance does. Five bowling options is simply not enough. If we were to drop Bopara I’d rather have seen Tredwell come in with Woakes batting at seven.

    Anyway, I’d better end it there. I have some deckchairs to rearrange.

  6. It’s still very early in the World Cup obviously, but I’m thinking KC might have had it right by picking eight or nine finger spinners as players to watch.

  7. Our one website campaign to support the Associate nations has got off to a rollicking start overnight.

    One of the “home nations” too. Well played Ireland.

    Scotland might have a slightly tougher gig tonight, but for now we KC acolytes are living the dream…

    …and in some cases pretty much dream-walking through work today no doubt.

    Daisy and I wimped out of spectating ludicrously early last night/this morning, but we know that we are mere part-timers compared with many KCistas.

    1. The West Indies being broken up within five years from now wouldn’t be surprising in the least. There was one side out there that looked like a Test nation, and it wasn’t the side wearing maroon.

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