For the avoidance of doubt the 2023 Cricket World Cup absolutely does not “take one day”

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“History will be written and dreams will be realised at the ICC Men’s Cricket World Cup 2023,” is the claim. “All it takes is just one day.” This is manifestly untrue.

The winning of the World Cup will take one day in much the same way as it will take one over, or one ball, or one nanosecond.

Sure, there’ll be a particular moment when the final catch is taken or when the boundaries are counted back, but that moment isn’t ‘all it takes’ to win. You have to do all the other stuff to get there first.

Similarly, of course there’s one particular match when the tournament will ultimately be decided – the final – but to get there the winning team will first have to finish in the top four of the 10-team group stage and also win a semi-final. Even then the final might not take one day. There are reserve days for all of the knock-out matches in the event that weather intervenes.

The “official film” of the 2023 Cricket World Cup is predictably full of this sort of meaningless portentous cobblers. At one point it seems to be suggested that “glory will be immortalised,” whatever in blue hell that means. The concept of glory will live forever? Think you’ll find glory’s already been around quite a while and hasn’t particularly shown any signs of ageing.

On the plus side, there are some highlights…

Murali spilling popcorn

Your man apparently still struggling to come to terms with things even after a decade

A few glorious frames of Dwayne Leverock

As for the tournament itself, some of the confusing, abstract things you’ve got to look forward to supposedly include…

  • Respect being reimagined in the stands
  • The power of belief emerging from the hearts of a billion
  • A tournament that lasts from October 5 to November 19 (so 46 days, not ‘just one’)

> 13 proper highlights from the 2019 Cricket World Cup

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  1. “Two sports, three days and five bagels” is a MUCH better line than “It takes one day”.

    Having said that, the latter might be an ideal, cynical headline for my match report on last week’s ODI – which you’ll probably publish around this time next year – by which time everyone will have forgotten the 2023 World Cup and its pompous catch phrases.

  2. Haha. You’re such a bitch when you feel like it. But ICC promo stuff is the kind of thing that definitely merits this kind of treatment from you.

    1. That only explains why they’ve tried to make it into a thing. It doesn’t mean they succeeded and it makes sense. Because it doesn’t.

  3. “The power of belief emerging from the hearts of a billion”

    Sounds like some weird alien mass-hatching thing. Do we know which game it will happen in? Can they really fit a billion people in modern Indian stadiums?

  4. Sam Hain finally making his international debut today. Not enough Sams have achieved full honours. Robson, Curran, Billings. Darren Sammy, Daniel Sams. And, of course, Thilan Samaraweera.

    Someone must be able to work their Stastguru magic to find out the most popular first name for international cricketers.

    1. If Darren Sammy counts then surely also Mohammad Sami.

      Which leads me to a conclusion that Mohammad is quite possibly the most popular forename in international cricket, historically and currently.

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