Giles Clarke – an unfair but fairly amusing comparison of two pictures

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Charged with massive fraud involving $8bn investment scheme

'God, you even smell like money'

Alleged to have bowled a deliberate no-ball

'Your alleged greed sickens me'


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Just that it’s not exactly the same situation. He didn’t know about Stanford’s scam when he was welcoming him with almost cartoon friendliness.

  2. “He didn’t know about Stanford’s scam.” Whatever.

    Stanford hadn’t been caught – so all was fine by Uncle Giles.

    Also, Giles is a big-wig in the Merchant Venturers – a quasi-masonic gathering of Bristol business folk born out of the – erm – slave trade.

    Nice moral high-ground Giles.

  3. Well done. I knew it was all Giles Clarke’s fault all along. In fact, there is a substantial lack of evidence that it wasn’t Giles Clarke who was behind the no ball betting scheme in the first place.

    That’s the thing about these people. Once they’ve tasted the smell of dirty money, they can’t get enough of it, even to the point of failing to provide the unfeasibly huge amount of evidence that I need to convince me they had nothing to do with it.

    And consider this. Giles Clarke is an anagram of Large Slice K, which is clearly his way of setting out to the go-between, whose codename must be K, that he won’t be satisfied with a small part of the winnings. The letter K, you will no doubt have noticed, doesn’t appear in any of the names Mazhar Majeed, Salman Butt, Mohammed Asif or Mohammaed Amir. What are the chances of that being a coincidence, eh?

    Now KC, all we need to complete the picture is to find someone who occasionally goes by the initial K, either by itself or in combination with another letter.

  4. “And the npower girl isn’t judging.
    She’s just smiling.”

    Of course she is, D Charlton. She’s just won her bet that Giles Clarke will wear the same tie on two apparently unrelated occasions.

  5. As the proud owner of both a wedding tie AND a funeral tie, we’re worried we might have been unjustifiably self-indulgent in our clothing purchases.

  6. Say what you like about his ties, but there’s no faulting Giles Clarke’s range of facial expressions.

  7. The facial expression on the second photo recalls school for me.

    On the very rare occasions I ever won something, THAT was the expression on the headmaster’s face.

    It says “you don’t deserve this, boy. I don’t know how a contemptable knave like you has won anything. But I am duty bound to hand this to you.”


  8. I am writing this in complete disarray, a small City of London backwater. Giles Clarke should not be wearing a double breasted suit, it is outdated and unjustifiable. Surely, the barber shop quartet were not the post match entertainment the MCC booked and why is Prince Andrew chauffering Stanford or is that part of the moonlighting he has to engage in because of Fergie’s VISA bill issue?

  9. I remember being at Lord’s last year when Clarke came back from Injah where he had been discussing T20 with what he rather patronisingly called “our Indian friends”.

    He had come straight to Lord’s from Heathrow and the thing I noticed most about him was that he was wearing lemon-coloured socks. Now do we really want a man negotiating about the future of the game while wearing lemon socks? Never mind the tie, the socks are the real issue here.

  10. Condemn me as establishment or praise me for my apathy, but I really can’t be bothered with Clarke as a hate figure.

  11. I used to quite like Glasgow popsters Josef K. Maybe they’re involved somehow. I’ve never seen them with Amir.

    “Of course” (adopts knowing raised eyebrow) Kafka’s Josef K was arrested one fine morning without having done anything wrong, not even delivered a pre-arranged leg side wide.

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