A rousing speech about spot fixing

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Friends, we must take a stand. This great game has been our lifeblood for oh so many years and now is the time to return that favour. Just as cricket sustained us, so must we now sustain it in these times of hardship.

This noble game of ours is badly wounded. Battered and bleeding, it is on its knees in the dirt. And yet we are not helpless. Together we can act to protect it.

Do we walk by, ignoring cricket’s plight or do we help it to its feet and together stand against our common enemies? Do we spurn our beloved sport’s imploring hand or do we tend to its wounds, preparing it for the next battle?

Do we act? Do we act now? Of course we do. But what will be our next step? How will we crush the forces of darkness so that their despicable tendrils never again constrict the veins of hope and optimism that enrich our world?

Well, er, I’m not too sure actually. Have you got any ideas? We could have a whip-round I suppose. Would that help? How about a sponsored run?

My mate Dave’s clearing out his loft at the minute. Maybe we could take some of that stuff down to a car boot sale or summat. Most of it’s rubbish, but we might get a bob or two for some of it. There’s a load of old crockery from his nan’s. It looks horrible, but it’s probably worth something to someone.

No? Okay, maybe we should just leave it then. Shall we just leave it? Yeah. I’m sure it’ll all work itself out anyway. Anyone fancy a pint? Come on then. My shout.

We’ve got some more fist-pumping rhetoric over at Cricinfo. It’s not about spot fixing though. Thank God.

One comment

  1. Congratulations your Majesty, you can duly consider me roused.

    But you’ve got me thinking. About the last time cricket died and they had to burn the bales. That garage sale idea might have some merit.

    Can we pay the Aussies not to beat England 5-0 again this winter? Sportsmanship is all well and good, but would it take really take the shine off a 4-0 defeat if we paid them not to try?

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